Slovenia calls

Albion players' threatening to go on strike, coach drivers getting lost, Scooby Do theme song, Nigel Mansell calling, blind leading the well-sighted and winning, managers stropping off to sign players (when they actually did nothing of the sort), Gary Megson lookalikes, journalists needing to lend Lee Hughes' kit after baggage is lost, journalists falling into swimming pools fully clothed, Simon Miotto singing Old MacDonald Had A Farm in Italian, LA Galaxy wanting Albion, LA Galaxy dumping Albion, Portugal, denials of another game, confirmation of another game, Paul Gascoigne turning up, a boat trip, Bryan Robson swimming, a manager stropping off to sign players (again), Ronald Koeman, Mrs Figo (very nice she was too), footballers getting on their bikes...and getting lost, John Hartson telling the photographers to point their lenses away from him, 40 degrees celsius, Curtis Davies exploding in a rage at Jeremy Peace, Crvena Zvezda (the best name in football surely?), one player falling asleep in a lift, Paul Robinson imploding, the Elvis bar, press officer John Simpson's birthday, Joe Corrigan and his Withnail and I impressions, fans getting hassle in Croatia, transfer requests, unknown footballers checking into a hotel (it was Marek Cech we soon found out), Paul O'Grady lookalikes, Tony Mowbray trying not to laugh, Mario Kart, wedding ceremonies interrupted, Borussia Moenchengladbach, Cologne, Albion victories, Albion defeats and the occasional draw.

Just some of the things we have been able to report on during Albion's pre-season tours.

There's a lot more we haven't.

I doubt this tour will disappoint.

Stick around on here and www.birminghammail.net for all the latest news from Albion's training camp in Ptuj this week.