Celtic, please....

I'M starting to get bored of this.

So what's the story so far?

David Moyes prefers Everton to Celtic. Understandable.

Owen Coyle is confusing us all. He says he doesn't want the job but, actually, he's not saying that. His bosses are adamant he doesn't. But, try as I might, I cannot find a statement of rejection anywhere in his quotes. Right job, wrong time perhaps?

Gordon Strachan fancies Mark McGhee. Somebody has to I guess.

Charlie Nicholas, star of the 1980s, isn't keen on Roberto Martinez but rather likes Moyes. Fair enough. I quite like Alicia Silverstone but it doesn't mean it's going to happen.

Tommy Docherty, a random bastion of the 1970s, is rather keen on Roberto Martinez. Malcolm Allison and Lawrie McMenemy were, presumably, unavailable for comment. Pat Nevin likes him too.

Does Martinez want the job? Apparently so, but what of Wigan?

Lisbon Lion Billy McNeill doesn't know who should get the job. Not helpful in the slightest.

Tony Adams managed to out-shock shock-jock Mike Parry by declaring live on talkSPORT that he was close to getting the job. A Celtic official hastily rushed out a denial, as if he'd just been asked out by the ugly girl at the school disco and heard her bragging about the conquest to her spotty mates.

Frank Rijkaard is being way too Dutch with his decision making, while Slaven Bilic is keeping a low profile. Both men seem too cool for the SPL and trips to Motherwell.

Roy Keane is probably ruing the day he set foot in Ipswich. Craig Levein doesn't have green-and-white-blood. Like that matters.

And Glenn Hoddle, last seen driving around Wolverhampton looking confused, has suddenly put his name forward thinking it'll help. David O'Leary's inevitable job application is no doubt in the bin - rightly so (that one's for my colleague Bill...)

But what of Tony Mowbray?

Lou 'more faces than Big Ben' Macari has decided he likes the Albion boss after all after slagging him off recently and you can read what Mogga's former team-mate Malky Mackay thinks in tomorrow's Birmingham Mail. John Hartson likes Mowbray too. A man of many friends, our Tony.

The Albion boss is awaiting baby No3 while Jeremy Peace, holding a pitched fork and wearing a hard hat, is waiting. And waiting. I'm sure he has no doubt turned his mobile phone off and possibly even forgotten to return any calls which start with 0141 numbers.

All of which makes me hope that sooner or later Celtic put us out of our misery.

Come on gents. The sun's out, the cricket has started (and I'm no fan of cricket) and a beer garden has kindly requested my company following a long season of football.

Someone, somewhere, please make a bleedin' decision.

(with special thanks to Gareth Barry for giving us all something else to talk about)