Jono's pants

MIDDLESBROUGH, home or away, is always a great occasion in Albion's season.

Only because you can guarantee there will be a laugh or two along the way, courtesy of Jonathan Greening.

With James Morrison injured, Albion's skipper assumed the 'Let's talk about my old club' duties at today's press conferences.

He didn't disappoint.

Jono is no stranger to controversy whenever he speaks. So much so, that he often doesn't realise it.

He could be telling a joke only to find he's offending a whole nation. This is a man, let us not forget, who asked whether the sun in Portugal was different to the one in England and who once drove his car home with dead mice attached to his aerial. Ask Andy Johnson...

Before Albion's home game against Middlesbrough, during their last Premier League season, he was asked about Steve McClaren's credentials.

Without the slightest trace of malice, Jono proceeded to discredit McClaren and shake his head when asked what the more senior Boro players thought of the England-manager-in-waiting. The tabloid reporters had found their winning Lottery ticket. You can imagine the headlines.

Today Jono was dressed as a lumberjack. But without his usual captain's armband.

He was wearing the kind of checked shirt not seen since the horrors of Line Dancing were introduced to the mainstream arena during the early 1990s. And I bet this shirt was not from the Primark sale.

But it was another item of clothing which caused uproar.

Want to know why Jono has hardly 'scored' lately?

Well, it was his 30th a week or so ago.

And his birthday was pants. Literally.

The only one of Albion's squad to buy him a present was room-mate Paul Robinson.

Over to you Jono...

"It was a pair of white briefs with my name and a number eight," he explained.

"They were clean at least. I thought about wearing them in bed with my wife but if I did I thought she would jump out and run downstairs

"I have worn them but I didn't get any action with them."

Squad-numbered underpants - a natural birth control accessory if ever there was one.

Meanwhile, all isn't as it seems with Albion's last signing.

Marc-Antoine Fortune's name lends itself brilliantly to headline writers wanting to exclaim Albion's latest 'mis-fortune' or 'good fortune'. But radio and TV broadcasters will have to think again.

An accent above the 'e' in Fortune means it's pronounced as 'Fortune-aye' not the usual way.

While we're on the subject of Albion's new arrival, you might have seen today's satellite TV reports claiming that Tony Mowbray turned to Fortune after missing out on Makukula. That is incorrect.

In fact, having spoken to the Baggies boss only last week about his targets, it was clear that Fortune was his first choice. Once Albion agreed a deal with Nancy, they stepped back from the Makukula pursuit.

Don't expect much more to happen this week but the club still want to bring in another one or two players. Possibly another striker, with a defensive midfielder also very high on the agenda.