What goes on tour...

IT's fair to say pre-season tours are never boring.

In the seven years I've covered them I've had my eyes opened. Somethings have amused me, some have shocked me, some I'd rather not have seen.

Back in 2002, there was a players' revolt in Exeter, at Nigel Mansell's hotel, when they threatened to go on strike over bonus payments which were altered following the change in regime.

It was all very cloak and dagger. A colleague and I were summoned to the hotel car park by a large delegation of players, where a long-winded statement was read out, effectively threatening withdrawal of labour. All very 1970s.

That'll be same trip where Albion played a blind team yet arrived late after the coach driver got hopelessly lost on the way.

The Baggies lost that game - you can imagine what the Sun made of that.

And I never did get to see Mansell.

Then there was a trip to Denmark which passed peacefully. Until the players spotted a local who looked like Gary Megson.

The Albion boss didn't see the funny side. Although I reckon his scowl was down to the arrival of Jeremy Peace at a time when their relationship was disintergrating quicker than a wet paper bag.

A year later Megson flew back to Birmingham just as Sam (he's our photographer) and I flew into Copenhagen. If we'd known we were passing each other we would have waved.

Megson claims he was heading back to England to sign Kanu. Others will tell you differently.

That left Frank Burrows in charge. Which, with all due respect to the lovely man that Frank was, was a bit like leaving your favourite, big, soft, uncle in charge.

Did the players make the most of Megson's absense? Odense is still recovering.

And then Bryan Robson whisked us off to Los Angeles. Or at least he would have done had Real Madrid not turned LA Galaxy's head, prompting the American club to drop Albion. The Baggies' loss would one day become David Beckham's gain.

We ended up in the Algarve instead, watching Albion losing to Sevilla, getting thrashed by Benfica and finding out, only two days before our departure, that the organisers still had another game lined up, against Sporting Lisbon. Which the Baggies lost.

Oh, and Paul Gascoigne turned up. Thankfully, without fake breasts or Jimmy Five-Bellies.

The next year was Scotland, a trip I missed. I'm told it was a boring trip anyway.

And then over to beautiful Slovenia last year. Ridiculously hot and oppressive temperatures left us in no doubt which of the players had looked after themselves over the summer. All had. Well, almost.

John Hartson was the only player to keep his top on - after telling our snapper to refrain from taking any pictures. We duly obliged.

There's been more over the years.

I could tell you about the fan who, during one overseas' trip, kindly requested that our photographer didn't take any pictures of her fella when we spotted them on a night on the town. He was supposed to be on a work trip. At least that's what he told his wife.

And then there was the player (no longer at club) who collapsed, somewhat worse for wear, onto a flower bed in the hotel foyer before retiring to a glass fronted lift for a spot of shut-eye. He spent the next hour travelling up and down between floors.

Not forgetting the married player (again, gone), whose mistress showed up halfway during the tour.

There will be none of that this year. Discipline and respect towards the management is paramount within this Albion squad. Besides, half of them don't look enough to get served in a bar.

Personally, I'm more concerned with news of imminent transfer activity.

Read Saturday's Birmingham Mail (or log onto our website) to find out more.

And, for those of you going, see you in Holland, Germany or both.