Holland - Day Two

Groten from Venlo.

Pre-season tours can be a real eye-opener. And, at times, an eye-sore.

Take Ishmael Miller for instance. He may be a Premier League footballer but his footwear was clearly more Conference-level.

The Albion striker's trainers were taking pride of place in the banter stakes this morning. And rightly so.

Serious questions need to be asked about someone who wears Neopolitan adidas pumps, which come in a delightful colour scheme of Battenburg Pink, Duck Egg Blue and with Lemon Yellow soles.

Even the normally silent Joe Corrigan found cause for comment. And he hasn't spoken since about 1985.

Big Ish clearly had other things on his mind, like contesting Albion's very own Super Mario Kart endurance race.

Eight of the players - Paul Robinson, Craig Beattie, Dean Kiely, Clem, Jonno, James Morrison, Luke Moore and Ish - whiled away the hours on their handheld Nintendo DS consoles.

Moore, we're told, was the Lewis Hamilton of the group. Jon Greening was the mobile chicane, spinning round and round.

Pele stayed off the track and in front of the mirror.

The Cape Verde international has been battered for his new mohican-style, red-highlighted barnet.

Word is the clippers will be soon coming out...

Not before time.

Meanwhile, Albion's training venue isn't the easiest to find, as we found out this morning.

While Birmingham Mail photographer Sam and I opted for the tried and tested option of asking passing locals for directions (thanks to the kind gent who escorted us), our colleagues from another newspaper turned to their Satnav.

Big mistake.

They programmed the venue postcode into the TomTom and duly listened for instructions.

Bigger mistake.

Eventually they reached their destination - the middle of a housing estate, with not a football pitch in sight.

The Sportclub Irene venue is somewhat impressive. Belonging to an amateur 3rd Klasse club (effectively Holland's sixth tier), it boasts six pitches, 40 youth clubs and 900 members.

It's called Irene after a Princess Irene and a goddess of the same name. It was formed in 1949 and the training facilities would put many Championship clubs to shame.

The team hotel, just up the road, is a fairly impressive sight as well.

Mind you the snack bar menu took some working out. Among the local delicacies were 'mice (sic) bread with chicken' and 'smashed egg'.

The players and coaching staff have it a lot more easier, feasting in the hotel restaurant.

And the less said about the hotel foyer music the better. Imagine having the likes of 'Take My Breath Away', Pan Pipe-style, played over the speakers. It was like being stuck in a lift.

I'm not sure whether Tony Mowbray heard it though - he was too busy chatting on his mobile phone for most of the day...