Gianni, beware of crank calls

I'm not one to cause alarm but Gianni Zuiverloon has a major decision to make following his move from Holland.

Ex-directory or phone book?

Albion's latest final entry in their A-Z roll-call - replacing the hapless Zubi - is opening himself to abuse of the highest order.

I can't really be bothered to check Birmingham's residential directory but I would imagine that Albion's latest Dutchman would be somewhere near the bottom of page End.

And that's a worry.

My parents knew a Polish couple whose name started with 'Zy' and were, as a result, propping up everyone else in their local phone book.

They would often get 3am phone calls from drunken louts, foolish students and, possibly even, bored night watchmen informing them, rather helpfully, that they were the last name in the directory. Things got so bad that our sleep-starved friends got themselves removed from the book.

Assuming that such people go ex-directory, then, sooner or later as people drop off, that could leave Mr Zuiverloon at the mercy of such nonsense.

Gianni, you have been warned.

Elsewhere, I couldn't help wondering whether I was suffering the lingering effects of sun stroke following two weeks on the beach.

'Martin Albrechtsen quits with swipe at Albion' raged the headline on our website.

You what?

It seems the Dane was accusing Albion of being 'slow negotiators' and creating 'too much uncertainty'.

This from someone who created 'uncertainty' himself by claiming he wanted to leave Albion if they didn't reach the Premier League, just a few days before a vital Play Off game against Wolves.

My abiding memory of Albrechtsen will be of a player who had great pace, could use both feet but whose defensive positioning and overall quality was simply not good enough. At Championship level he was reasonable. At top flight level? I don't think so.

I would have thought a dignified hush-hush sneak-out-of-the-door exit would have been far more appropriate for a player who fell way short of being worth anywhere near the £2.7million Albion paid for him.