Window shopping, Albion style

Albion fans tuning into one of the main satellite channels might have been surprised to see a shivering reporter stood outside St Andrew's during yesterday's transfer window commenting: "There's not much going on in the Midlands today..."

Whatever.

Let's see what happened over at B71.

19.21 - Just finishing off dinner, the washing up's nearly done...what's this? Michal Danek signs on loan from Viktoria Plzen. One down, how many more to go?

19.42 - Really not sure this is working - a whole EastEnders episode based around Dot Branning sat in front of a tape recorder? Where's Roxy? Tanya, are you there? Save us please.

Hang on, what's this...a big welcome to Ishmael Miller. For £900,000, plus £500,000 of add-ons. Dick Turpin is alive and well. Where's ex-cop Jack Branning when you need him?

22.54 - Okay, I'm starting to flag. Waterloo Road has come and gone. I'm seriously considering watching the Shameless I missed from a few days ago. SCATTER! Think about my mates in the pub - I'd like to think they're having a pint for me. A sign of life, a flurry of activity, Graham Dorrans signs for Albion from Livingston but won't be joining till next season. So why tell us now? Oh yes, I can see why. Note, Graham, not Graeme.

Not long to go.

23.51 - I'm hoping the fax machine at Albion's training ground isn't broken as it could seriously hamper my sleep pattern. There's still some deals left surely. Where's Kim the Korean? I've heard whispers of Neil Clement going out on loan, Newcastle looking at David Worrall (yes, really). The silence is unnerving. I'm wondering whether the beat-the-deadline slogan will get an airing.

Jermain Defoe's off to Portsmouth and did a fine impression of an arrogant footballer struggling to construct a sentence as he got into his car. Wish the reporter had kicked him - go and pass a medical now then Jermain. We get told about some other signings around the country, as if they're important. Why do Brazilians like Middlesbrough so much? The satelitie channel, including its most animated presenter, seem devastated at the lack of activity in Newcastle. Nobody's told King Kev about this window lark have they?
Back home, I'm beginning to lose hope and the will to live. A text. He's signed. Do-Heon Kim, as opposed to Kim Do-Heon or Kim Do-Hyeon, has signed on loan from a club called Seongnam Ilhaw Chunma, which is somewhat understandable - who'd want to play for a club called that?

Is it safe to go yet? I'm told it is. I'm not sure. I'll give it till 1am, remembering Nigel Quashie's signing as we travelled through London in the early hours, coming back from Charlton two years back.

Take a look at the signings around the country. One catches my eye, Hal Robson-Kanu, from Reading to Southend. With a name like that he must be one hell of a player. A hybrid footballer of world class proportions.

Time for bed.

Here's to August 31 2008. See you then.