October 2009 Archives

Dulce et Decorum est. (Wilfred Owen)

Bent double, like old beggars under sacks,
Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge,
Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs
And towards our distant rest began to trudge.
Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots
But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame; all blind;
Drunk with fatigue; deaf even to the hoots
Of tired, outstripped Five-Nines that dropped behind.

Gas! Gas! Quick, boys! An ecstasy of fumbling,
Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time;
But someone still was yelling out and stumbling,
And flound'ring like a man in fire or lime.
Dim, through the misty panes and thick green light,
As under a green sea, I saw him drowning.
In all my dreams, before my helpless sight,
He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning.

If in some smothering dreams you too could pace
Behind the wagon that we flung him in,
And watch the white eyes writhing in his face,
His hanging face, like a devil's, sick of sin;
If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood
Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs,
Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud,
Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues,
My friend, you would not tell with such high zest
To children ardent for some desperate glory,
The old Lie; Dulce et Decorum est
Pro patria mori.

They. (Siegfried Sassoon)

The Bishop tells us: 'When the boys come back
'They will not be the same; for they'll have fought
'In a just cause: they lead the last attack
'On Anti-Christ; their comrades' blood has bought
'New right to breed an honourable race,
'They have challenged Death and dared him face to face.'

'We're none of us the same!' the boys reply.
'For George lost both his legs; and Bill's stone blind;
'Poor Jim's shot through the lungs and like to die;
'And Bert's gone syphilitic: you'll not find
'A chap who's served that hasn't found some change.
'And the Bishop said: 'The ways of God are strange!'

There's a Mike Gatting lookalike sitting at a corner table at Hilton Park services.

At least I think it's a lookalike. It is a colossal breakfast he's tucking into.

Next month cricket writers from all over the country will gather to hold a "wake for county cricket coverage" in newspapers up and down the land.

The event has been prompted by the "collapse in coverage" of the county game, significantly from the traditional mainstays - The Times and Daily Telegraph - as well as other nationals and many regional papers.

The gathering will be an affectionate one but also tinged with deep sadness. Not just in harsh, practical terms as many cricket writers lose work and also contact with colleagues they have dealt with during summers over many years, but with respect to the diminishing profile of the great institution that is county cricket. Most county cricket reporters love the game and care for it deeply.

Cricket-reporting is perceived as a genteel business and a delight. For a long time it was the former and it still, at times, can be the latter. But in recent years press-boxes at county grounds have been increasingly full of anxiety, disillusionment and bad news as the national papers dispatch fewer correspondents and fewer local papers staff games.

That many of the country's most experienced and astute cricket scribes will soon assemble for a wake suggests they believe the battle is lost. And that is very sad.

Manchester United won the FA Cup for the first time when they beat Bristol City 1-0 in the final at Crystal Palace in 1909.

WG Grace was in the crowd.

And, being a Bristol City fan, he didn't like it.

When Hampshire played Nottinghamshire in the championship at Northlands Road in May 1930 the third and final day began with Hampshire requiring just one run to complete a five-wicket victory.

At the end of the extra half-hour on the second day, Nottinghamshire captain Arthur Carr, evidently in no rush to get back to the east Midlands, refused to start another over just to get the game finished.

Next morning his team took to the field in lounge suits and overcoats. Voce handed his overcoat to the umpire before bowling the first ball of the day. From the second came the required run.

Thirty-two years later Arthur Carr suffered a fatal heart attack while shovelling snow.

Similar laws should apply to the driving of shopping trolleys as do to the driving of cars. Trolley police should be stationed in every supermarket to clamp down on careless drivers, reckless drivers, speeding drivers, drivers under the influence of drinks or drugs, aisle blockers, lane-hoggers, unreasonably slow movers and drivers who fail to indicate properly. These people should be punished with penalty points which, under a totting-up procedure, eventually amount to a ban.

Warwickshire v Pakistan, a three-day tour match at Edgbaston. July, 1974. Warwickshire win the toss and bat.

Opening the bowling for the tourists is 21-year-old tyro Imran Khan. Fast and furious. Still very much a junior in his national side but clearly a colossal and precocious talent.

Jameson and Abberley open the batting for Warwickshire. Jameson, rarely defensive, takes to Imran and biffs him for 60 from his first four overs.

One of those overs begins with a dot ball. The next three deliveries are struck for four and the next lifted for six. The sixth ball brings another boundary - and is a no ball. Jameson also cracks the seventh ball to the fence. 26 off the over.

Now that's an over I would like to have seen.

Jameson finished with 88 in 64 minutes but his dismissal was not the end of the tourists' rough treatment. Eddie Hemmings lifted Intikhab Alam for three successive sixes on the way to 74.

In Pakistan's next tour match, at Trent Bridge, Imran Khan dismissed Nottinghamshire's Nirmal Nanan for two.

Ian Bell and Jonathan Trott tied for the prestige accolade of top three-scorer in the championship for Warwickshire last season.

Bell and Trott each scored 24 threes in four-day cricket, just ahead of Jim Troughton who recorded 20.

The full list.
24: Bell, Trott
20: Troughton
15: Woakes
14: Ambrose
13: Westwood
12: Botha
8: Clarke
6: Frost
4: Tahir
2: Carter, Maddy, Patel
1: Javid, Rankin, Sreesanth.

Top of Rikki Clarke's winter agenda must surely be how he can score more threes in 2010.

He didn't do too badly in the championship six-hitting stakes though.

The list.
9: Carter
8: Clarke
5: Troughton
3: Woakes
2: Patel, Sreesanth
1: Ambrose, Botha, Trott.

Ian Bell faced 1,930 deliveries in the championship and failed to hit any of them for six.

MOST bowlers claim that cricket has always been a batsmen's game. Especially since pitches were covered and more than ever in recent years when many county matches are played on bland, slow or flat surfaces.
The claim is supported by facts. Warwickshire have played first-class cricket since 1894 but of the 11 positions in their batting order, the record scores in nine have been set in the last 15 years, six in the last decade. Here's the list.

1. Nick Knight: 303 not out v Middlesex at Lord's, 2004.
On a sunny morning in London, Nick Knight strode out to open with Mark Wagh determined to give his team's innings a sturdy backbone. He did that pretty effectively by becoming only the fifth player to score a triple-century at Lord's after Percy Holmes, Jack Hobbs, Graham Gooch and Wagh (who made 315, batting at number three, in 2001).
The track was far from a shirt-front and a Middlesex attack led by Nantie Hayward and Lance Klusener bowled well. So batsmen had to work hard - and Knight was nothing if not workmanlike. He reached 50 from 57 balls but then lost momentum and simply ground his way to, 100, 200 and finally, after ten hours and 44 minutes, 303.
It was not fluent and far from attractive but the captain's career-best underpinned a victory (one of only five all season) ultimately vital to Warwickshire's championship triumph.

2. Roger Twose: 277 not out v Glamorgan at Edgbaston, 1994.
It was supposed to be all about Brian Lara and, on his championship debut just 11 days after thrashing 375 off England in Antigua, the West Indian duly scored a century in Warwickshire's innings win. But while Lara sparkled, Twose patiently, efficiently unfurled a remarkable piece of batting.
In 1993, Twose scored 224 championship runs at an average of 12.44. Now, in his first knock of '94, he helped himself to 277 and was set fair for a triple century when Dermot Reeve declared on 657 for seven.
The junior partner in a second-wicket partnership of 215 with Lara (who made 147), Twose was unbeaten on 104 on the second evening. Next day he navigated the rest of the innings so skifully that another 392 were added, though nobody else reached 50. He batted ten hours six minutes and hit 34 fours and a six.

3. Brian Lara: 501 not out v Durham at Edgbaston, 1994.
Now this was all about Lara. Thirty-seven days after Twose's historic effort, Lara delivered the most famous innings in Warwickshire's history.
After Durham amassed 556, the Bears lost Dominic Ostler for eight. That brought in Lara.
At 100 he became the first batsman to score seven centuries in eight first-class matches. He had only just started.
On the final day, the match doomed to a draw, Lara scored 174 in the morning to take lunch on 285. By tea he was on 418, the highest score by anyone at Edgbaston and by any Warwickshire player, West Indian or left-hander.
At 425 his innings became the highest ever in English first-class cricket and finally, at 501, the highest in all cricket, beating Hanif Mohammed's 499.
Lara batted seven hours 54 minutes, faced 427 balls and hit 62 fours and ten sixes. He was dropped by wicketkeeper Chris Scott on 18!

4. Billy Quaife: 255 not out v Surrey at The Oval, 1905.
Score one for the old guard. It is entirely appropriate that Billy Quaife remains on the list. He was the linchpin of Warwickshire's batting for 35 years, scoring 33,862 runs for the county, and never more dogged than at The Oval in May 1905.
The Bears began the final morning on 151 for two, needing another 93 to avoid an innings defeat. Quaife was on 33. Along with fellow stonewaller Septimus Kinneir he knuckled down and, though Kinneir fell for 99, there was no uprooting the five-feet-two-inches of implacable resistance that was Warwickshire's own "WG".
Quaife batted throughout the final day, six hours, 20 minutes in all, and hit 21 fours and three fives to steer his side to safety at 585 for seven. The final throes were not too testing, mind, as Surrey captain Lord Dalmeny gave everyone a bowl. Even wicketkeeper Fred Stedman sent down four overs.

5. Frank Foster: 305 not out v Worcestershire at Dudley, 1914.
If Quaife was one great figure of Warwickshire's early years, Foster was the other. An inspiring captain, he led the Bears to their first championship in 1911 and was also a brilliant fast-bowler and flamboyant batsman. At Dudley, in May 1914, Worcestershire discovered how flamboyant.
Foster's thunderous 305 came out of 448 scored while he was at the crease. Driving gloriously and hitting mercilessly to leg, he struck 45 fours but, strangely, no sixes in an innings as spectacular in its day as Lara's 80 years later.
It was all the more satisfying for the maverick Foster because of his dislike for his namesakes who were at the heart of Worcestershire cricket. And after Foster declared at 645 for seven, the home side's suffering continued. Fast bowler Frank Field sent down 8.4-7-2-6 and Worcestershire were skittled for 136, beaten by an innings and 321 runs.

6. Tim Ambrose: 251 not out v Worcestershire at Worcester, 2007.
Ninety-three years on, Worcestershire suffered again, this time at New Road.
There was little to suggest the carnage ahead when Warwickshire, after winning the toss, slumped to three for two as Kabir Ali removed Darren Maddy and Ian Westwood. The pitch was slow and not perfect for stroke-playing but, Ali apart, the bowling was mediocre and the attack was first softened up then pummelled by Jim Troughton and Tim Ambrose. After Troughton departed for 162, Ambrose made merry against wilting opposition. He batted for six hours 29 minutes, faced 325 balls and hit 34 fours though, like Foster all those years before, no sixes.
Towards the end, Ambrose was cutting the bowling to shreds. His sixth-wicket partnership of 226 with Heath Streak was a Warwickshire record, Streak contributing only 66 as the wicketkeeper plundered his way to, at the time, the 12th highest score for the Bears.

7. Dougie Brown: 203 v Sussex at Hove, 2000.
On May 12, 2000, seagulls circling menacingly above the ground in search of vulnerable targets, on the second day of a championship match, Sussex were getting on top.
On a pitch slow but decent for batting, they had totalled only 224 but now had Warwickshire in trouble. When skipper Neil Smith fell for a duck, the Bears were 158 for five. Out of the pavilion strode Dougie Brown, arms swinging in familiar windmill fashion.
At close of play, Warwickshire were 439 for six, Brown 157 not out. First with David Hemp then Ashley Giles, the all-rounder vigilantly steered his side out of trouble, shored up the innings and then, as the flow of the game switched, counter-attacked.
Next day Brown (203) and Giles (128) stretched their partnership to 289, a Warwickshire seventh-wicket record. Brown's maiden double-century spanned six hours 47 minutes and contained 30 fours.

8. Tony Frost: 135 not out v Sussex at Horsham, 2004.
Horsham has rarely been a venue to excite bowlers. In 2004 it was at its most batsman-friendly. The pitch looked a corker for batting. In fact it was a road.
To their delight, Warwickshire won the toss but somehow, due to carelessness in the top order, they found themselves 166 for five. Then Ian Bell was joined at the crease by Brad Hogg and they added 145, Then Hogg was out for 68 and Tony Frost came in.
If there was a vestige of life with the new ball it had gone now and the pitch just flattened out more and more. Bell (262) and Frost added 289 for the seventh wicket and, with Mushtaq Ahmed tamed, were still motoring when Nick Knight declared. Frost batted exactly five hours, faced 249 balls and hit 17 fours but Sussex replied with 562 and the match died a slow, agonising death.

9. Neil Smith: 147 v Somerset at Taunton, 1998.
Of the eleven scores on the record-board this is the only one to arrive in defeat. Neil Smith's century was defiant and highly entertaining but altered only the scale of embarrassment as Warwckshire were outplayed.
After Somerset totalled 364, the Bears, struggling under Brian Lara's troubled captaincy, replied with a meagre 129 (Nick Knight batting through the innings for 67). Then they were heading for total humiliation at 84 for seven second time round.
Against an attack including Andrew Caddick and Mushtaq Ahmed, Smith, with nothing to lose, went for broke. He shared partnerships of 109 with Trevor Penney and and 90 with Ashley Giles and rode his luck for 133 balls before holing out to 'Mushy'. Somerset, assisted by one leg-bye, knocked off the required 70 for just two wickets.

10. Jeetan Patel: 120 v Yorkshire at Edgbaston, 2009.
Warwickshire didn't hire New Zealand spin-bowler Jeetan Patel for his batting skills but they were grateful for them on his championship debut.
Patel had a thankless introduction with the ball, finishing with 36-1-150-1 as Yorkshire piled up 600 for eight declared. But he shone with the bat - much to the Bears' relief after they hit deep trouble on a flat Edgbaston track.
When Patel went in, Warwickshire were 241 for eight, 210 short of avoiding the follow on. But Jonathan Trott was still there and Patel got stuck in alongside him to add 233 for the ninth wicket.
The Kiwi's second scoring stroke was a six and he batted with freedom and confidence to end the third day on 89. Next morning he quickly collected 11 runs to reach his maiden century and batted three hours six minutes in all, facing 155 balls (16 fours, two sixes).

11. Alan Richardson: 91 v Hampshire at Edgbaston 2002.
Few people present at Edgbaston on May 16, 2002, will forget the cricket that saw that day. It was one of those magical passages of play, totally out of left field and which nobody in the world would have predicted, that this silly, wonderful old sport throws up now and then.
Warwickshire resumed on the second morning on 272 for nine. Nick Knight was on 151, head and shoulders above the rest, none of whom passed 22. At the other end: number 11 Alan Richardson, one not out. Maybe the tail-ender could hang around while Knight lifted the total to 200 for another bonus point?
Richadson didn't see it that way. Out of his locker came shots never been before (and not since). He passed his previous career best 17 then galloped to 91 in a stand of 214, batting for four hours 16 minutes and facing 199 balls (ten fours, one six) before being stumped. Marvellous stuff.