Beelzebub's All Stars

Good morning ladies and gentlemen. It is another grey, glowering morning at Old Trafford. The sun is trying to break through away over the Pennines but you wouldn't back against an interruption or 12 today.

It was the universal view of Warwickshire's supporters in the Slug & Lettuce last night that this stadium, in its current state, offers just about the grimmest cricket-watching experience possible, apart from, perhaps, if a Satan's XI organised a Twenty20 against Beelzebub's All Stars on a flame-licked island on the River Styx.

The players are warming up but the building-site workers are already in full flow with their drills and hammers.