Custard Tart Outrage

Today, I went into a baker's shop and asked the chap behind the counter for a custard tart.
"A custard tart, please," I said, as you do.
His reply? "Would you like a bag of five?"

"No thank you, just the one," I said. Then I paid for the item in question and left, all calm-like, without another word.
But inside I was far from calm. I was seething. Livid. Simmering with fury.

What I could have said was: "Look, Buster, if I wanted five tarts I would have I asked for five tarts. I requested one tart because that is exactly the amount of said confections that I desire. I did not come in here here thinking 'oh I would really like five custard tarts but I am only going to ask for one'. I asked for one, not because I secretly wanted five but was too craven to ask for them or secretly hoped you would raise the stakes in that fashion, but simply because one was actually the precise amount of tarts that I coveted.
"When I attend the newsagent's shop to buy a paper, he does not ask: 'Do you want five?' When I book a badminton court at the sports centre, I am not asked: 'Do you want five courts?' When I popped into the butcher's the other day to order a Christmas turkey, he did not come back with: 'Would you like five?'"

This sort of insidious, ugly, heavy-handed, bully-boy pressure-selling is a NATIONAL disgrace.