Ermintrude the cow

Lunch: Leicestershire 198 for 2 (55 overs). Boyce 71, Dippenaar 1.

Matthew Boyce looks a good young player. He is, I should point out, no relation to chirpy Welsh funster Max, former Essex all-rounder Keith or West Ham midfield legend and Hall of Fame member Ronnie.

Or the Pope.

Or Lester Piggott.

Or Eric Eldin.