The Parks. The postscript.
I thought there was a mischievious glint in the eye of the attendant who told me to "park under that tree" and so it proved that, by the time I returned to the humble Fiesta at close of play, every bird in Oxfordshire, Gloucestershire, Wiltshire, Northamptonshire and Worcestershire, as well as a few from as far afield as Aberdeenshire, Devon and the Isle of Man, had assembled to take turns to perch in said tree and empty their bowels freely upon said car - on the roof, the bonnet, the windscreen and in one case (you've got to admire the logistics) the driver's door handle.
I bet there were a few seagulls from Hove involved too.
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Brian Halford - Brian Halford’s look at Edgbaston.
Ruddy birds. I'd take a shotgun to 'em. And ruddy Royal Mail too. I mean, some of the stamp penalties nowadays are absolutely un-be-lievable...
Do I detect the seeds of a new journalistic career.
If the prophets of doom are proved correct and the IPL leads to the death of county cricket, could there be an opening for an Evening Mail Bird Droppings correspondent ?
My grandad got an OBE for 50 years service in a Royal Mail sorting office. Bit embarrassing when 'e went down to the Palace to get his gong. When the Queen went up to 'im 'e tried to lick the back of 'er head.
Brian, I thought you'd have become used to that by now!
The thing was, I was having me car serviced the next day and I could hardly take it in to the garage encased in a three-feet deep layer of bird poo.
The Parks is quite a big area, Oxford is bigger, Oxfordshire larger still and the world nothing short of huge so why did they all have to do the honours on me little Ford Fiesta?
I'd cage the lot of 'em.