Jek Porkins - a tribute
We all know that George Lucas famously 'revisited' Star Wars (subsequently rebranded 'A New Hope') with all manner of digital jiggery-pokery.
The screen was literally packed to capacity. Previously where stormtroopers had walked down an empty Mos Eisley side street, it hummed with dozens of tiny robots buzzing around their heads.
For my money, it was rather over the top, and only a couple of the shots were worth doing.
And as for Han shooting first in the confrontation with Greedo....let's just say I agree with certain internet users...
Anyway, one section not touched was the classic bit involving Luke's Red Squadron comrade Porkins. The salad-avoiding X-Wing pilot gets toasted by turbo lasers during the attack on the Death Star.
But now, using the finest technology available to 21st century humanity we can find out why 'Red Six' Jek Porkins (for he has a first name) was unable to 'hold it'.
Yes it's because he'd just been to a space drive through in Yavin's orbit and was trying to polish off a large fries and coke while wrestling with his control column.
And yet! There's more - it turns that Porkins not only has a first name but a middle one also. It's not Jek Jek Porkins in the style of a much loved other SW character, but, in fact 'Tono'.
As someone who's in the film for a time measured in seconds he seems to have acquired an amazingly colossal biography here.
See ya Porkins!
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Ben Hurst
This is what the internet was made for - pointless but hilarious mash-ups of your favourite films. I thought your Obama McCain video was brilliant, but this is great - The best one yet. I was sad to see Porkins go, he showed that the Rebel Alliance was an equal opportunuities employer when it came to pilots. While the RAF might laugh in the face of us slightly more rotund people, it was never like that Along time ago in a Galaxy far far away when you were free to be bigger than average and eat hot food at your workplace. For a bloke who dreamed up a whole new universe, George Lucas lacked imagination when it came to naming characters, calling the fat bloke Porkins, it makes me laugh almost as much as in my second favuorite film where the ice planet was named Fridgia.
Thanks for that Bossk - your part in that series of films made Jek Tono's seem like he was hogging the screen time!
As for your second favourite film - I only have one thing to say: "GORDON'S ALLLIIIIIVVVVEEEE???"
Bossk, how nice to hear from you again. It's been years since we last met on the bridge of the Star Destroyer rubbing shoulders with the Dark Lord himself. Oh those were the days when the Empire was striking back. My part was equally small and my film career never really took off. I was hoping for a part in that movie you keep talking about but they gave my line "Dispatch war rocket 'Ajax' to bring back his body" to somebody else.
On a serious note, great video.
Flash Gordon is one of the most under-rated sci-fi films of all time though. You can take your Alien and Blade Runner, they can't compare to the technicolour wonder of the first hero of sci-fi.
"Flash, Flash, I love you, but we only have fourteen hours to save the Earth!" - What GREAT dialogue
Terminator-Smerminator is what I say