Observer's Arts Critics Tackle GTA IV

The Observer carried out an interesting experiment by getting some of their arts critics to take a look at the ultra-violent and crass GTA IV on Sunday.

Needless to say the result was enough flowery and eliteist language to keep Private Eye's Pseuds Corner in business for months.

Peter Conrad, described as a 'writer and academic' who doesn't actually drive himself, began by comparing the constant movement to cinema: "The plot is an excuse for motion: cinema is kinesis.

"Hitchcock knew he was programming sensations, infecting audiences with motion sickness as his characters struggle to control runaway cars."

Clearly warming to his subject, Conrad compares the legendary GTA freeform gameplay to chaos theory: "I began as a fluttering butterfly an hour ago, and the result of my impromptu thumb-twiddling was this thunderstorm of concertinaed metal and squirting gore."

Finally Conrad asks the question on all gamers' lips: "Is this a game, or a holy war conducted by other means?"

Art critic Laura Cumming makes a bold attempt to match her field of expertise to the grime of Liberty City: "Then you notice the way that a couple of nighthawks in a diner appear to be re-enacting the famour Edward Hopper painting; or that the struts of Brooklyn Bridge, through mist, resemble an Alfred Stieglitz photograph."

I don't remember those comparisons in the Official XBox 360 magazine review!

She shows she has managed to master the difficult art of flying though - very impressive! "Swoop through its dark canyons by helicopter, watch the brownstones blaze red in the heat, witness the lights coming on like fireflies at dusk."

All tongue in cheek I suppose, but quite enjoyable - and at least it means games getting a decent amount of coverage.

Now we just need one of these luvvies to go on a game-inspired murder spree so it will get coverage in the Daily Mail too!