What about my job?
What about my job? That's the thought that has been going through everybody's head in editorial over the last few days.
Running has barely crossed my mind.
For me, a reporter on the Mail who joined the company 18 months ago as a trainee, it is my first experience of job cuts. It's horrible, it's embarrassing, and it's damn right frightening.
But I am in no way feeling disillusioned. I knew when I joined this marvellous trade of journalism that things were changing quickly, the 'golden era' of reporting (whenever that was) was well behind us, and that my job would rarely be safe.
But I still fought tooth and nail to join the company so I could write about a city I love (although I'm only from Studley) and work with other journalists who have more pride in their work then anyone else I know in any other profession.
Now, I can't help but feel that our passion for the job is exploited. I'm not sure who to blame but when you see reporters, photographers and production staff scrambling for jobs they have put their heart and soul into for years, it makes you sick.
I desperately want to stay at the company, I want to do video journalism, write a blog, break exclusives, take photographs and write headlines. But I don't want to do this at the expense of highly trained, extremely experienced professionals who are at the top of their game. And also my friends.
It looks like a Jack of all trades will ultimately replace the specialist. And there's no saying that I will be one of those Jacks.
But will quality suffer, will we continue to haemorrhage readers, will we come through the recession, will we be worked to death with all the extra responsibilities, will those who survive the cuts get paid what they deserve for the extra work they take on?
I'm hoping for the best. I will adapt as necessary. But as long as I am a reporter I will always have that nagging doubt - what about my job?
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Paul Bradley - Paul Bradley is a Birmingham Mail reporter trying to get fit and stay fit.
Hannah Webster - Hannah Webster, Paul Bradley's girlfriend and Northampton Chronicle reporter, is aiming to get fit and stay fit.
Don't believe what rose-tinted specs folk tell you about the days what was!
In 1967 when I was a young hack at the Despatch (at the time the best - in my view - evening paper in Brum) the powers-that-be closed it.
Was hard to take back then. Felt like our world had been taken away from us. Those of us who survived had to join with our competitors at the Birmingham Mail.
Do you see what I'm trying to say?
You ain't the first and you ain't the last (check out the job cuts during the Winter of Discontent, or even more recently the job cuts after Ian Dowell's Operation Groundbreaker in 1995).
Times change, young man, and if you're as good as your blog you'll adapt.
Good luck.
(From an older hack now retired but one who changed and enjoyed Brum and the world!!)
My grandfather once worked on the Birmingham Gazette (merged with the Post in the early 60s I think).
He tells me that in the early 50s there were as many as TEN paid-for papers on sale in Brum! (Inc. dailies and weeklies).
His message Paul, if you're interested, is: "Tell that young man not to be so daft. Young 'un principles are all very well, but the world is always changing."