Has the flame gone out?
When the temperature rises as high as it has today, you can usually guarantee that the smell of barbecues will pervade our neighbourhhoods.
But that hasn't happened where I live. I've been outdoors most of the day and haven't detected a scent of lighting fluid, burning charcoal or over-cooked sausages. Strange.
I wonder whether we've endured so many disappointing summers that we reckon we can no longer rely of the weather to allow us to cook and eat outdoors so have given up trying.
Or maybe - like me - most people have come to realise that BBQs are pretty dismal affairs. I've lost count of the number of times I've eaten substandard bangers that are blackened on the outside and dry within or grisly chunks of lamb that have been marinated in some commercial preparation which claims to impart an exotic flavour but, in fact, tastes simply like the contents of an industrial lab.
There are exceptions - such as a whole chicken opened out and left to soak in olive oil, lots of lemon juice and scary amounts of crushed black pepper before being cooked slowly high above the glowing coals. But such pleasures are rarely encountered.
Truth is, barbecues are rubbish.
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Paul Fulford
Features Editor Paul Fulford gives his verdict on the region’s restaurants.
And good riddance too.
When our new neighbours moved in they sited their bbq 6 inches from the boundary fence in a position where the prevailing wind carried the foul-smelling burning fat smoke and odours straight onto our patio and into our living room.
Our complaints were met with a mixture of derision and disbelief until we made it clear we were prepared to take legal action if the nuisance persisted.
BBQs are fine in the countries where they originated. There people generally have larger outdoor spaces in which to cook and socialize.
British gardens and houses are too small and too tightly packed for these things and I'd be delighted to see the back of them.
I blame the TV programme Neighbours for convincing us we're all Aussies!