Times Tables, Quantum Physics, and the Changing Ways of Childhood

'There are many who are still surprised by the differences in today's children from when they were younger'

"CONSIDERING the graphs of Y = X2 -1 and Y = 1 + √x, and the line Y = X, show that the solution of the equation X2 - 1 = 1 + √x is X = 1/2( 3 + √5 )." This is the point at which a parent, looking at their child's homework, frowns and decides to put the kettle on.

There is the common conception that today's kids are terrorising residents by standing on street corners and poking frail grannies with sticks before mugging them. But, the chances are, they're at home studying the Franco-Prussian War, mastering particle physics or becoming fluent in 23 languages.

The 11-Plus exam has been axed as the last 15,000 pupils in Northern Ireland sat the grammar school entrance tests last week. It has been suggested that the test causes children to feel like "failures" at the age of 11.

There are many parents who, when realising that they can't help their 8-year-old with quadratic equations, seize the moment and start reciting their times tables that they learned parrot-fashion while being smacked with the cane on every prime number back in 1974.

There's something, perhaps satisfactory, in listing the times tables by parents to their children because they know their children don't actually know them. But they don't need them. They have calculators and they know you don't get into NASA's space program from knowing 6 x 6 = 36.

There are many who feel that today's exams are much easier for students than when they were at school. But that all depends if you think being able to recite your 19 times tables is actually; 1. maths and 2. going to amount to anything.

The mobile phones that we use today, the televisions we watch and the pills we take when we are ill did not come from someone with a degree in knitting who knows the capital of Botswana.

There are many who are still surprised by the differences in today's children from when they were younger. While today's 11-year-olds are going on school trips to Science Centres, studying rock formations on the coast, or going in a rocket with the whole of class 6E to see what the Earth looks like from space, there are many who probably remember waiting at the bus stop with a woolly hat and a Penguin Biscuit in their pocket, for the bus back from swimming lessons in 1978. Not really as exciting.

While those who were brought up to sleep in beds coated in lead-based paints, in an age without childproof lids on medicine bottles, and in a time when people thought it was fashionable to have a photograph taken standing next to their car with hair like someone from a Die Hard movie, many only had to worry whether they were going to play out till 8 or 9 O'clock. Today's generation have to worry about the financial crisis, polar bears dying horrible deaths in the Arctic, and being charged with treason for being in support of plastic bags.

And entertainment has also changed. While it may have been mildly interesting to have played with string and mud in the past, today's generation won't touch anything that doesn't have to be plugged in and that doesn't involve shooting virtual people in the face.

And while the Enid Blyton's Famous Five amused previous generations, the children today bought up on Harry Potter; who's stories involve magic, danger and death probably won't enjoy them. Unless they were updated to involve wizards, wands and or something exciting like the murder of an international drugs baron.

"It's the weekend already!" exclaimed Julian, "And I've just heard that smugglers have been seen sailing towards the island! It looks mighty exciting! Shall we investigate?"

"Shut up," said George. "And move your ass out the way of the TV, we're on the last level of Hit and Run Whores 2008 and then we've got some more quantum physics questions to do before bed!"