August 2008 Archives

KEIRA Knightley is set to deliver her best performance yet in the eagerly-awaited release of The Duchess.

It's my favourite film of hers to date as you'll see in my September 5 review and goes straight into my top ten for the year.

The Duchess looks fabulous and it feels less contrived than Atonement.

Good to see, too, that Keira is not averse to revealing the odd nipple.

Just like Kate Winslet before her, she's turning into a proper actress, unlike some shy American stars who always keep themselves covered up even when it looks ridiculous.

There's nothing wrong with showing a bit of flesh if it's all in the best possible taste.

LIV Tyler, daughter of Aerosmith rock god Steve, still can't find her niche in the movies.

She was fine as Arwen in The Lord of the Rings trilogy, but was naturally overshadowed by the sheer scale of the entire trilogy.

You'd have to go back to 1996 releases Stealing Beauty and Tom Hanks' That Thing You Do! - when I was lucky enough to meet her - to find a time when she radiated promise to match her looks.

Apart from the overlooked One Night at McCool's (2001), her career has often disappointed - think Jersey Girl in 2004.

Shame. Liv's not a bad actress. Has the Hollywood pedigree. And she looks unique.

But this weekend's release The Strangers isn't how I want to see her.

Crawling around on the floor in the face of an unseen enemy isn't my idea of fun... and, as you'll see in my Friday review, it's doubtful anyone would ever want to watch the first half an hour of this horror film ever again.

+ Meanwhile, hands up if you realised that Macaulay Culkin (Home Alone) could still only be 28 today. It's also hard to believe that it was back in 2003 that he starred as the incredibly annoying Michael Alig in Party Monster.

His last film, Sex and Breakfast (2007) is about couples using anonymous group sex to sort themselves out.

Yeah, right. Could be a key reason why we're unlikely to ever see it over here... unless it's in a DVD bargain bin.

THE bloke who appeared on The X Factor tonight able to sing the longest note in the show's history should be banned from cinemas throughout the land.

At least while the Sing-Along version of Mamma Mia! is playing.

It'll be one thing going along with your best mates to see the karaoke version of this film.

It would be quite another to see it with yer warbler in the audience thinking it was the Carryonoke version.

+ Gene Kelly (1912-96) and River Phoenix (1970-93) both share birthdays today. Which means Gene might have been 96 and River still only 38.

Gene would have been 38 in 1950... and by that point had still to make Singin' In The Rain (1952).

It just goes to show what we might be losing whenever a star like River or Heath Ledger dies so young.

And, while The X Factor might have its place, there's no substitute for talent.

FURTHER to my blog of August 19...

Having promised a new likeness for Hellboy in today's paper ... lo and behold there isn't. Oops!

We had some ongoing technical problems with our work-in-progress, groundbreaking new editorial system yesterday afternoon.

Result... I left the office after the best part of 11 hours in the unusual position of not having seen today's film spread.

Not only was production delayed, but, I discovered today, that my promised little bit of mischievous doppelgänger fun had been chopped out.

Such things happen all the time. Story lengths can often be compromised by any number of colliding reasons, from pure design factors to the number of other reviews on a page.

Not forgetting the availability / balance / shape / size / nature / quality of pictures (you'd be surprised how often Hollywood doesn't deliver great stills after spending all of that money on the movie itself) and, of course, advertisements (number, size and late arrival of).

The downside to this blogging business is that I made a promise we haven't kept. The instant, wonderful upside, is that it's a safety net which can rectify things.

So here's the view...

Hellboy isn't really Ron Perlman. He's actually been modelled on a cross between new Villa keeper Brad Friedel and 1970s' pop star Alvin Stardust, sideburns and all.

Curiously, both Friedel and Stardust have made their reputations with gloved hands... and Hellboy comes with his own clunking fist.

The man with the shortened horns has also got one of the shortest, funniest catchphrases in movie history: 'Oh, crap'.

The next time Friedel makes a cock-up in the Villa goalmouth - as even the best goalies do - it would be a fair cry from the fans.

WHEN the film-loving Beatles wrote 'One, two, three, four... all together now', little could they have imagined how appropriate those words would be in cinemas in 2008.

And for a group that succeeded them as the world's favourite writers of timeless, classic songs.

All together now: 'We all live in an Abba submarine'.

Fans of the Swedish supergroup will today be eagerly awaiting the arrival of a new version of Mamma Mia!

Selected cinemas are getting a Sing-Along version of the year's hottest movie.

It will run on screens next to the original version for those who don't want to be involved with a karaoke session.

So now you can choose. You can either listen to Pierce Brosnan singing badly.

Or the lasses sitting behind you singing in disharmony as his backing singers while rustling giant tubs of popcorn.

Should be interesting. Should be fun.

What's more, the release of Mark II (or rather Bjorn&BennyII) should also help to propel Mamma Mia! towards the all-time UK top ten beyond the £50 million box office mark.

See today's Birmingham Mail for full details!

WHEN the first Hellboy movie came out, I reckoned the comic book character played by Ron Perlman was a deadringer for... former Bullseye host Jim Bowen.

Especially if you were to imagine Jimbo saying: 'Look what you could have won' with two pieces of salami stuck to his forehead.

Having seen Hellboy II, though, I reckon he's now a cross between two other famous people.

And one of them is an Aston Villa player.

Find out who they both are in my review in Friday's Birmingham Mail... and perhaps you could suggest some others.

PS: I also really enjoyed Steve Carell's new movie Get Smart which I'll also be reviewing on Friday. Nice to see a movie which just puts the fun back on to the big screen.

HAVING just seen the new George Lucas film Star Wars - The Clone Wars (PG / 98mins), I reckon one of the new-style old characters would be perfect for a fresh ad by Cuprinol.

Come to think of it, watching Obi-Wan Kanopaint retreating a fence might be more interesing than trying to keep up with this saga.

We'll be reviewing the film tomorrow when it opens nationwide, but the best part about it is seeing how live action characters have been turned into animated ones.

That's far more interesting than the story.

+ Meanwhile, Steve Martin is 63 today. Two years to his bus pass. Maybe he'll be funny again then... if he wakes up as Blakey. Or maybe not.

SUCH IS the non-stop world of the movies, I've just had my first two-week holiday for a decade.

I can't wait to catch up with the third Mummy film and Space Chimps!

During my overseas break I was amused by the Daily Mail's orchestrated campaign to slam the BBFC's 12A certificate for the new Batman movie, The Dark Knight.

On Wednesday, August 6, for example, it had the headline 'Growing anger at Batman's 12A rating' beneath a strapline which read: 'Allison Pearson triggered the debate. Yesterday Iain Duncan Smith joined in. So why was the ultra-violent Batman given such a low rating'.

The next page, beneath the same strapline, had the headline 'Unaccountable, unashamed, the scandal of the faceless censors who do anything BUT censor' and the text included the now familiar line: 'Last week, Mail columnist Allison Pearson triggered the debate on this violent film, saying she was appalled that children could see it'.

But is this really where it all began....?