IF YOU GO DOWN TO THE WOODS (OR THE WOODY) TODAY...

... YOU'LL BE in for a big surprise.

There's no sign of a teddy bear's picnic with Woody Allen's new movie Cassandra's Dream which has just opened.

You just won't believe how much of a dog's dinner of a film this is, complete with vague connections to a greyhound. And a boat. With a bit of meaningless Greek tragedy thrown in.

The cast includes Ewan McGregor, Colin Farrell and Tom Wilkinson all floundering like you've never seen 'em before.

They'll console themselves they weren't being flogged or having fingers chopped off in woodland horror thriller Timber Falls.