NEW LIFE, NEW HOPE

On the 16th February the joyous news that my son Jonathan and Jaimie had a baby son lifted my heart, yet another reason to live for and I couldn't wait till March when I was booked to fly out to Canada.

Nevertheless there was much to do before then. My friend Sandra and I, who both support each other with cancer, went to a Target Ovarian Course in Coventry. It is not my favourite city as I always seem to get lost there and today was no exception as I went round in circles thinking why do they call it the "historical city" of Coventry! Finally we found our destination and all too soon it was time to go home, but thick snow had fallen stealthily and silently and thus began a nightmare journey which instead of 30 minutes took 2 hrs 45 minutes with blinding snow, sheer ice, cars sliding and buses, cars and lorries abandoned. Why does snow cause England come to a standstill when other countries like Canada just keep moving! Finally was I glad to see the twinkling lights of my home and a welcome cup of tea to calm the shredded nerves.

The next day I was in my home town,Solihull for a meeting in the Mayor's Parlour to discuss the Mayor's Ball in March. A wonderful night where all the proceeds go Macmillan Cancer Support. I had been asked to give a talk on my journey with cancer
and how Macmillan had helped me. I felt really privileged to be able to sit in on the the meeting where they discussed the plans, strategies and hopes for the night. It took me back to my days at the BBC when I used to go to these meetings. A wave of nostalgia came over me for those wonderful days which I had enjoyed at the BBC for 37 years until cancer cut my career short.

My brief was for a 4 minute speech after the dinner and before the auction. How could I get all I want to say in 4 minutes and how on earth would I be able to eat my dinner or drink before my speech! But hey, I am a trooper all would be ok on the night, so I went home to prepare.

Talking of speeches, I booked Monica Price the writer of the play about 5 ladies with cancer which was produced at Solihull Arts Theatre to give a talk. She came to dinner and then came to our Solihull Cancer Support Group to discuss the play, exciting plans for moving it forward and to talk about nutrition. She was so knowlegeable and so many who attended said that no-one in the NHS has ever given them advice on what one should eat. We learnt so much and I think there should be a "Monica" in every hospital, as diet is so important whether you have cancer or not.

February might bring snow, but it also brings the one plant that to me signifies life - the snowdrop. When I was diagnosed with cancer in 2001 I planted snowdrops thinking "I'll never see them grow." 9 years on, the first snowdrop in my garden always fills me with hope and now they are multipying and there are bunches of them. The best place to see snowdrops is the Rococco Gardens in Painswick. John and I had stayed there with friends a few years ago, had a marvellous time and I put it on my "wish list" to go back when the snowdrops were in bloom. I was not disappointed; banks of snowdrops emerged from the barren cold earth of winter, signalling that Spring is just round the corner. Another goal I could tick off.

March arrived and I was at last on the plane to Canada to see my family. We flew over the icy, frozen wastelands of Northern Canada with their frozen rivers.Thank goodness I had packed my boots, warm jumpers and sheepskin. I travelled with Air Canada which was top class, great films, good food, plenty of legroom and smiling air hostesses. Some other airlines could learn a thing or two from them. All too soon we landed and I met my grandson Jake for the first time.

When I arrived Jonathan and Jaimie were exhausted (it is amazing how one little person can so dramatically change your life) and so it was my pleasure to look after them for a week and take away the household chores, so Jaimie, who is such a natural mother, could have more time with her baby.

What a joy to be able to feed, change and bath your grandson. I last did it is a Mom 35 years ago, so I guess Jake soon realised that he was in the hands of a complete amateur!

The weather was glorious, very warm and sunny and everyone seemed to be in shorts and sunglasses, except for me in my boots and woolly jumpers, but what a bonus.

Jaimie took me to have a pedicure and manicure and how different the experience is to England. We sat in these large chairs which massaged virtually every part of our backs, with our feet in this soothing footbath and then, a beautician - they all came from Vietnam, gave us the most wonderful pedicure - absolute bliss. I think they should have the same chairs in England and I told my beautician so when I came home.

All too soon my special week was nearly over, but not quite! On the last afternoon I had gained enough confidence from the friendly black squirrel in the garden to feed from my hand. Sadly however, he bit my hand when greedily eating his nut! I thought nothing of it as I washed my bleeding throbbing finger under the tap. Jonathan was strangely alarmed and said I must go to the doctors. In Canada. It is a great walk- in system, no waiting on the phone for ages to get through to a receptionist.

The doctor put the fear of God in me when he said " Squirrels in Canada carry rabies you must ring the Ottawa Health Care straight away for advice and bathe the wound for at least 5 minutes." "What are the symptoms of rabies?" I weakly asked. "They don't start immediatley, but you will foam at the mouth, feel very thirsty and will not be able to bear being near water" he explained. I went home feeling decidedly peculiar and in my haste to get to the phone fell up 2 stairs and thumped my knees and elbow. Ottawa Health Care cheerily confirmed that their squirrels do carry rabies but there had been no deaths this year - it's only March, could I be the first? I was told I must go to the local hospital for treatment. I had been fighting cancer for 9 years so I decided a pesky squirrel was not going to get the better of me, so I treated the wound with tea tree oil, which I always carry with me, and thought I would worry about it when I got home to England.

I cried when my son dropped me off at the airport, because I knew I was due to start chemo again in April, so I wouldn't be able to see Jake for at least another 8 months. He had already stolen a little bit of my heart, but I flew home thinking how lucky I was to have shared this special week and the been part of a new little life, who I knew, would bring so much pleasure.