THE LULL BEFORE THE STORM

While my husband was walking with his friends in Wales I went down to my favourite destination The New Forest, to stay with my friend Debbie. The weather was glorious and what a time to be in the Forest,There were many newborn foals tottering on spindly, unsure legs, staying very close to Mom. While having a cream tea at a Mill, a mother donkey wandered by with her beautiful baby who seemed to be protected by other females, a little like the baby elephants in South Africa who are surrounded by their aunts to ensure they grow up to adulthood.

We found a little donkey lying down by the side of the road looking ill and tired and no amount of cajoling would make her get up and an older donkey kept nuzzling her. Debs and I were really worried and after 2 other people also showed their concern we decided we had no choice but to either bundle her in our car and take her to a vet's or ring for help. The gentlemen suggested giving her 15 minutes on her own and then come back. Imagine our surprise when we returned to find the donkey was gone. Then we saw her ambling up the road happily munching the hedgerow. They say donkeys are stubborn, she was obviously hot and tired and was just having a rest, determined not to be bothered by these do-good interfering females who come from the city and know absolutely nothing about the law of the forest!!

A glorious day on the beach at Hengesbury Head, a ride on the Noddy train and all too soon I am on my way back home to see my oncolgist. He had bought my appointment forward three weeks so I was worried - there must be something wrong. I had already got myself down for chemo even though John kept saying I looked too well - how does he know! Sadly, however hard I try to be positive there is always the fear that it could be bad news and on the day of the appointment I am always a nervous wreck. I start teaching my Living with Cancer Course next week for 6 weeks, I can't possibly be ill.

Once more I am waiting outside Professor Poole's office, how quickly it comes round, but he is smiling - a good sign. He called me early because of concerns by my doctor - all that worrying, if only I had known. He agreed with John's diagnosis that I looked well and he would give me another 3 months. I am elated, another reprieve from the dreaded chemo.

That weekend I spent the next couple of days preparing for my Macmillan course. John and I went out for dinner to celebrate my good news. Then I discovered it - a lump in my breast which felt just like a pea. I managed somehow to get through Monday and on Tuesday I started tutoring my course. Five of the ladies had breast cancer and each one described feeling a pea-sized lump.

At the end of the session I headed down the M6 for home and pulled into a layby to make an urgent call to my doctor's to say "I have a lump in my breast." If I could get there in 15 minutes they would see me. I couldn't spend anothere sleepless night worrying so I said "I'll be there." I had already lost my other bits to ovarian cancer, please don't let me have to lose a breast as well.

I firmly believe that someone is looking after me, because the doctor said that it was not a cancerous lump but a sebaceous cyst. Maybe I've spelt it wrong but who cares - I don't have breast cancer! What a rollercoaster few days, but do you know, that night I slept like a log!