May 2009 Archives

My week started with 2 sessions of yoga on the same day, but I am a firm believer that for me and anyone whose bones have been damaged by chemo, yoga helps to keep you flexible and build up the muscles so that you can still live a normal life despite a few aches and pains that you could really do without. It is a matter of working with where you are now instead of wishing you could still do all the things you used to do.

Everytime I go to friend's funeral I think how lucky I am to still be here. A few weeks ago on a wonderfully sunny day I went to the Solihull Friary to the funeral of my friend Val's father Alec.

It has been a few years since I have seen Alec, as Val and Carol now live in Llandudno, but once seen never forgotten. He was a man of great charm and when you had a conversation with him he made you feel that you were the only person in the room - he made you feel special. That is a rare talent, as we always seem too busy to really listen to what people say to us anymore. Alec obviously made everyone he met feel special, because I have never seen so many people of all ages coming to pay their respects. The Friary was standing room only - a true testament to what he gave during his life

The next day I was on my way to Clent to see my friend Yvonne who I worked with at the BBC and who used to sit with me in those long chemo sessions, that's what you call a true friend. Knowing that I have absolutely no sense of direction, John set up the Tom Tom in my car and to my amazement I reached my destination no problems. Before I discovered TomTom, I would be going round the roundabouts two or three times desperately trying to find my exit and making the odd detours knowing that I was hoplessly lost. After a few frantic phone calls I would eventually arrive at my destination stressed out and late. Does this sound familiar ladies?

This will now be a thing of the past, I need never get lost again, the world's my oyster!. For all you ladies out there who have the same problem it's well worth putting TomTom on your birthday list from your partner, more importantly it will help him too. Like John he also never again need fear the dreaded phone call asking "Where am I?. ..

Inbetween all this I am having to make regular visits to my dentist Nigel as I have awful toothache on a bridge that cost me a fortune some months ago. Feeling sorry for myself I moaned "Things always go wrong for me". Then I thought, hang on I teach people to be positive,a fine example I am, this is just a blip on the journey and I have great faith that Nigel will sort it out. Do you know I felt so much better for thinking positively instead of negatively. That night when I went to a wine tasting evening I also discovered it defintely was a far more pleasureable remedy than the pain killers I had been taking!

Macmillan plays such an integral part in my life and amongst all this stress I attended 3 Macmillan events which are always a pleasure to support.The first was at the Queen Elizabeth Hospital which lookes amazing as it undergoes major reconstruction. The Citizens' Advice Bureau have set up advice centres at the Q.E., Heartlands and Good Hope Hospitals and they, in conjunction with Mamcillan are available to offer financial advice for cancer patients which I know will be invaluable.

With the Macmillan Fund raising team and my good friend Steve Dourass we went to The Belfry. A lovely lady called Dawn Stakouris who is a great supporter of Macmillan has opened a very tranquil "Spa and Beauty Salon" at the Belfry. The decor was very exotic and I would loved to have lain on one of those welcoming beds for a massage to take away the stresses of the previous week. The hospitality was great and Jasper Carrott declared it open with his normal dry wit.. Dawn raises donations for Macmillan and I realise that in all walks of life people are working to help raise money for a cause which is so vital to people like me, living with cancer. Perhaps I should book myself a day at the Spa it sounds just what I need!

I was even more convinced that is what I needed after completing the annual Macmillan Fun Run on the 3rd May at Perry Barr Park.On a sunny Sunday morning we were all limbering up in great spirits as Batman and various other fun characters including a man who amazingly completed the 4 miles on stilts - what a feat! Mine was really a leisurely amble round the park with John and a few other people who I knew who I kept meeting. One such friend was Monica who found time to do the walk and run a nutritional stand there. This is inbetween writing the play about the 5 lives of women living with cancer. which she is putting on at the Solihull Arts Theatre in September. Her energy and enthusiasm is amazing and like myself she gets great fun out of giving something to Macmillan. The saying "It is better to give than receive" is so true.and do you know it actually makes you feel better too..
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May has arrived and to walk through the bluebell woods when they have just come out is amazing. The smell is intoxicating and the sea of deep blue is breathtaking. I always used to walk through the bluebell woods with my Father and last year he said "I will never see them again". Sadly he was right and it was very poignant for me this year. He was a wonderful artist, but he always said he could not capture the beauty of the bluebell woods try as he may, but for just a short time they are are there for all to see.

When I go away for only a few days, the garden seems to have burst forth with flowers, shrubs and weeds all vying for space. When I start working in my garden I have no concept of time, consequently I am always late for everything and beautifully manicured nails are destroyed as I can't work in gloves.However, the joy of caring for a garden is wonderful and I believe that a well loved, well cared for garden is a happy one. That is how it feels, all the flowers are blooming better than ever and the birds are singing, and working so hard as they swoop onto the bird table for worms and seed to feed their young who are nestling in our bird box. It is such a busy time for them and I only hope we can be around to see our family of bluetits leave their nest. Last year John cleared out the box and I have kept a perfect shaped nest to teach the grandchildren all about the wonders of nature.

Easter was spent with good friends. Thelma and Leno and Jean and Ray who were my neighbours for over 20 years, came round for drinks and on the sunniest Easter I can remember we went to church. Easter Monday, John and I went to our friends Kay and John's for lunch at their wonderful old cottage in the woods and as we sat basking in the sunshine in their garden with great views of Worcestershire, life felt really good.

Easter was always spent with my Mom and Dad and the boys. Another anniversary without my Dad always feels strange and Jonathan being in Canada makes it even worse. Justin was busy, but you have to accept that life is constantly changing and instead of wishing for the good old days, you have to enjoy what you have now.

I am really a kid at heart and so was delighted to have John's grandson James to stay for a few days.What an excuse to do fun things like walking in the park, going on the swings,visiting Sea Life in Birmingham, riding on a train and a tram and watching lots of childrens' videos and doing jigsaw puzzles - I haven't done one for ages but haven't lost the knack! The joy of being grandparents is that you can make the time for things which parents just can't do. Sadly after three days it was time for James to go home, but what fun we had and he said he would like to come and live with us- can't get a better compliment than that from a 5 year old!

A glutton for punishment, I took my grandchildren Ben and Nicky to the pictures for the 1st time.We went to see " Monsters and Aliens" which was in 3D. Equipped with our special glasses which cost £2 something each, we went in to enjoy the show, but they were terrified and after 30 minutes I had to take them out, so I will never know how the film ended and I've got 3 pairs of defunct 3D glasses!

The next day the sun is still shining so I think a day in the garden sounds a good idea after all this excitement!

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How did we ever survive without computers? John's went down a few weeks ago and after sending it off to be repaired, it packed up again, so off it went once more and now we have had it returned for a second time, they still have not fixed it. The service we get today is really dreadful, people don't seem to care. Luckily my son Jonathan gave me a laptop so I can once more continue my blog in the hope that people haven't forgotten me!

When I last wrote, I said that I was waiting for my oncologist to compare my scans and write to me with his findings, 6 weeks on despite phone calls I am still waiting. They cannot possibly understand the anguish and worry we cancer patients go through when we are kept waiting for results. Luckily for me, I feel well, but if I didn't the worry would certainly make me feel a whole lot worse. I just have to believe that no news is good news - I hope!!

John & I at the Ball

I always believe that keeping busy takes your mind off concerns and worries and I
went to the Mayor's Ball in Solihull. It was a great night and all the proceeds went to help the wonderful Macmillans. I saw this handsome young man on the next table who seemed to recognise me and then I remembered - it was Alex, who a few years earlier had gone round the world with my son Jonathan. What a small world and how lovely to meet him again, unrecognisable from when I last saw him, with beard and backpack at Heathrow Airport where we excitedly welcomed them home.

My brother came over to England from Australia for a few days and came to dinner with his son Matthew. He was six when I last met him and is now 25 - again how time flies.

The next evening I went to the Solihull Arts Theatre to see the musical 42nd Street. I had seen it many years ago in London and was expecting a very amateurish version of it. How wrong I was, it was top class and the tap dancing and the energy they put in was amazing, especially as they have jobs to go to in the day. I will certainly look out for the Coleshill Operatic Society when they come again. It feels so good to support our local theatre where I have enjoyed some really great entertainment over the years.

My week finished with my grandson Nicholas's 4th birthday at Tudor Grange Leisure Centre where the children had great fun on the bouncy castles and equipment, followed by a tea party which had a jungle theme. Apparently children don't have parties at home anymore, they have them at Wacky Warehouses or McDonalds etc.

I am showing my age now but I so loved arranging parties at home for my boys, with lots of games and prizes and home cooked food.I can still see the children to this day excitedly running over the house hunting for hidden items to win prizes. I don't know who enjoyed them most the children or me, but I do wonder if the kids of today get the same fun out of these themed parties and for some mothers it must be very hard to have to keep up with the Jones's when times are hard.

My brother goes home next week and I sadly won't be here to say goodbye as I am off to the New Forest to spend quality time with my friend Debbie.

Debbie and I always have the most wonderful time together and I love staying with her and Gordon in this beautiful part of England. Walking the dogs first thing in the morning is a novelty for me, but by the end of my stay I felt very much fitter and slept like a log.
We went to Branscome Chine where the beaches are as beautiful as any you see abroad and the sun shone every day. We caught the ferry from Sandbanks to Studland Bay and explored Corfe Castle, seeped in history but very much a ruins thanks to Cromwell.

Debs and her beloved dogs Mia and Molly

On my last day we went to Chawton to see Jane Austen's house where she wrote so many of her novels. It was a perfect English village with a Church and Manor house which was owned by Jane Austen's brother, who was lucky enough to be adopted by the previous wealthy owner and inherited everything.

All too soon, it is time to go home and we are both sad to say goodbye, but we always have so many wonderful memories to take with us and as I drive the 2 1/2 hours back to Solihull I I am always happy to be going back to John and my Chloe, who although she is 13 runs down the stairs the minute she hears the car, charges through her cat flap and is sitting there to welcome me on the drive before John has even heard the car.

Be it a dog or a cat,they all enrich our lives and give so much pleasure and the welcome they give us shows how much they have missed us, although I think John missed me a little bit too!

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