March 2009 Archives

Everyone always says how well I look and that I am always smiling. Well thank goodness for that, but I, like all cancer patients, have my worries. I have been having stomach pains and a lump in my groin seems to be getting bigger, so a trip to the doctor's is required. He suggests I see my oncologist as soon as I can, so an appointment is arranged for the next week. In the meantime my osteopath is still working wonders with my back which is just as well, because as we have to completely empty the loft as we are having it insulated. Trouble is, we have so much up there it took 4 days to get it all down. Debbie should have been staying with us, as we were going to the ballet together, but every bedroom was full of our stuff so sadly, there was no room at the inn!

I am sure I am not alone in keeping memorabilia which includes everything my boys made me at school, such as deformed clay pots, lopsided baskets, & every card they ever made or sent me. There's my hot pants, my leather and suede mini skirts, my first going-away outfit and hat I wore 43 years ago - will I ever wear it again I ask myself! My love letters and cards from way back, my Dad and Mom's love letters from 73 years ago, my old schoolbooks, the list is endless - do I really need to keep all this? and yet it is really hard to throw away memories of your life. So I haven't quite thrown everything away but pruned it down to the bare minimum and 2 weeks on, I feel so much better for getting organised and clearing the clutter.

A couple of very welcome yoga classes helped ease the aching bones and I went to Coventry Hospital to sort out my lump. A scan was arranged for last Thursday. I had been to the cinema the night before so hadn't checked out my instructions and after a lovely breakfast of tomatoes on toast I had this awful thought - I wasn't supposed to eat for 6 hours before the CT Scan. Sure enough that's what the instructions said and I had to come clean with the X Ray department who luckily were able to make it the following day. I had my blood tested and will see my oncologist next Friday. You see when you have cancer, however hard you try to get on with a normal life, the worry of it is never very far away.

Nevertheless, I do try to lead a normal life and we had my son Justin and his family to dinner for a big Sunday roast and we took John's son Richard and his family out to dinner for his birhday. We all get on very well together, so often, extended families don't so John and I feel incredibly lucky.

One day last week Monica. the poet and playwright came to see me with wonderful news.
I already mentioned that she is writing a play about 5 ladies with different cancers, but she said that the one on ovarian cancer will be my story completely. So even when people have tired of reading my blog or watching my video, or listening to my speeches, my story will be forever in the play. I can't wait to see who will play the part.

Monica is also a nutrionist and has given me a new regime for me to follow - oh dear this is going to be hard!

Luckily for me, John and I were invited that weekend to stay with our great friends Yvonne and Tony in Cheshire, so I can eat what I like there and then I'll start on Monday! We went to a fascinating place called Willow Garden Centre which is full of rusty old mangles, ploughs, tin baths, old Victorian gazebo's - can't get away from the Victorian era this week! It was amazing, the tea room was decked out for Xmas and there were little thatched huts where they also served meals
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We then went on to Great Budworth a perfect little English village with a very large church and it's own well. After such a lovely weekend I was able to forget all the worries
of the previous 2 weeks, thanks again to wonderful friends..

A month has gone by since I last wrote, but I'm still here and feeling energised by this wonderful Spring weather and the joy of watching the spring flowers and blossoms burst forth and the sounds of busy amorous birds.Our 2 bird boxes have now been claimed by blue tits and a blackbird couple and a robin seem to have taken up permanent residence in our garden.I'm always planting and pruning and it feels such a happy garden, if only I had the time to relax and enjoy it. That must be my new goal for this summer

I lived in my previous house for 20 years and my next door neighbour was a lovely lady called Stella. When she left I used to visit her and she was always interested in "my boys" and my cat Chloe who she loved. I was going to see her before Xmas but I had to cancel and she was disappointed. "I shall come and see you again soon" I said. As I sat at her funeral 2 weeks ago, how I regret not making the time to see her for now it is too late. I shall never make that mistake again.

I have always been lucky with my neighbours and we invited our great friends Thelma and Leno, who were my neighbours 40 years ago,to a "cinema evening" at our house to see "Mama Mia" - what a happy good feel factor that film leaves you with.

Talking of good feel factors on the 24th February I started the first session of "The Living with Cancer Course" run by Macmillan at Coventry.I always do a great deal of work beforehand because it is so important. My co-tutor Mike and I are a good team and we were pleased to see 14 people turn up. They all looked worried and uncertain about their future. Three weeks on the difference is amazing, they are making action plans, taking control of their lives and daring to hope and more importantly they are helping each other.I always come home exhausted, but it is one of the most rewarding things I have ever done.On the first day I had an hour to turn myself round and go with my friend Debbie to see "El Divo" at the NEC.What a wonderful night, it's amazing how 4 handsome, gifted men can revitalise you again!

That week my friend Steve Dourass from Macmillan brought the latest member of their fundraising team, James to meet my "old" Macmillan nurse and friend Sue and myself.What a joy to be able to entertain Sue to tea and cakes again - just like old times and for all of us to discuss how we fit into the "Grand Plan". It is very good when the men at the top take the time to find out what happens at "the coal front". We all learn so much from tthese meetings and share stories and laughter which help us to help others.

The weekend was upon us and John and I had such a special treat in store - our friends John and Kay had arranged a night with dinner in the best room at the best hotel in Llandudno.Kay and I have been friends for 60 years and this was my 65th birthday present.No one could have given me anything more special, John and I both love Llandudno, we always feel well and happy there and I believe the sea is very therapeutic.

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We arrived at the Osborne Hotel and were shown to our beautiful suite decorated in Victorian style complete with a fire in the old Victorian fireplace. The next morning we sat having breakfast in our room, overlooking the sea, with a friendly seagull perched on the window ledge hoping for a croissant, I thought how lucky I am to still be here to experience all these wonderful things and when our friends Carol and Val, who live in Llandudno, knocked on our bedroom to have a cup of tea with us I felt just like Hyacinth Bouquet.

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We left Llandudno refreshed and happy after 2 glorious sunny days there thanks to special friends like Kay and John whose generosity had made it all possible.