A MIXED BAG

On Monday after a day spent preparing for my course, I went for a well earned Yoga class at Solihull Hospital. Gill is an amazing yoga teacher. When I was first diagnosed in 2001 and couldn't breathe properly or walk very far because of the cancerous fluid in my lung she came to see me and taught me how to breathe from my abdomen and gradually with her help I learnt ways to breathe through my lungs.A friendship was formed and she began teaching and helping other cancer patients at my house. On sunny Summer days we held the classes in the garden surrounded by the smell of lavender and roses and we all found how much it improved our well being and more importantly we had fun.Gill is such a busy lady now that those days are gone, but I am so lucky to be able to still gain from her knowledge and her friendship. If you have a problem - she will have an exercise to sort it! She has been very important to me on this journey with cancer.

Next day, just before going to do my Living with Cancer Course, an envelope arrived from City hospital. I can recognise them a mile off and always dread what I will find inside.This was not good news, my cancer level has gone up and if my scan shows something next week then the oncolgist said it might be time to institute further treatment - meaning the dreaded chemo. I have had 2 years without it and have felt absolutely wonderful and can only presume that my immune system has kept the cancer at bay.

In July my father had a stroke and I spent every day with him at Heartlands Hospital Stroke Unit for a month. When he died at the end of August, I was both exhausted and sad . He was 92 and one of life's characters. I have been lucky to have him share my life for so long, but how I miss him. I often wonder if this is when the cancer creeps up on you again, but, I hadn't got time to feel sorry for myself, I had a course to give in Sutton Coldfield, so off I went in my car trying to convince myself "It will be fine".

This is the 4th week of the course and the change in the group is amazing.On the 1st day there were tears, now there is laughter. They were frightened and unsure of the future, now they are positive and making plans.The cancer has not changed, but their attitude to it has and they are now taking control of their lives unstead of letting others take control and that is such a powerful thing to learn.They are a wonderful group of people who all help each other and I have loved being able to help them thanks to Macmillan. I always say that Macmillan keep me much to busy to die, so long may it last!