Anything for the geography lesson, sir?

We have the highest level of teenage pregnancies in the civilised world - how we manage to qualify for that section of humanity is a mystery in itself - we have kids leaving school with GCSEs and A levels coming out of their ears who can barely spell or add up and our answer to it all appears to be sex.

We are falling down every international table of literacy and numeracy as our kids are let down year after year by the smoke and mirrors tricks of higher grades and marks for poorer and poorer education but when it comes to horizontal gymnastics our leaders and educators are up there leading the front line.

High teenage pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases rampant, an alarming growth in sexual assaults in schools and by schoolchildren on adults and the response of our great and good is yet another of their social experiments, this time a sex shop in every secondary school where you can pick up your condoms, protection or morning after pills with your breaktime health drink.

Why not chuck in a few rooms you can hire by the hour and employ a courtesan or two for every school to make sure no one misses out? You could even get an A* for it.