Britain closed for the weekend

So let me get this right. People are complaining because our much heralded new "world class" border police force does not actually have any uniforms, can't arrest anyone and does not work at weekends. I added the world class bit by the way as everything under New Labour always seems to have world class inserted somewhere in the title.

I really can't see what the fuss is about and I am sure the army of consultants, who no doubt even now are charging us for a fleet of lorries to transport their fees away, will have arranged for notices to be put up at all ports, airports and beaches informing terrorists and illegal immigrants that they are not allowed to enter Britain outside office hours or at weekends which should solve the problem.

As an aside though, working office hours in adversity is not new. When war was declared in 1939 my late father-in-law joined colleagues from the Bank of England in signing up for the London Transport Regiment - the local volunteer force.

After rapid training they were shipped off to Norway as part of the Allied expeditionary force where they were set to happily shelling German positions . . . until 5pm that is when the gunnery sergeant in charge of the battery, a shop steward on the Underground until he signed up, declared it was time to knock off for the day. For the first few days of the war in Norway a little part of England was fighting the war from nine to five with an hour for lunch. A very civilised state of affairs which lasted until the regular army officers discovered what was happening and declared war was a full time occupation.

Pity the officers are not around today, running a border force perhaps.