Recently by Victoria Farncombe

I have a date, a mum date! The text came late Thursday evening when I was sitting round the kitchen table eating my fifth slice of chocolate cake that day. Beep! "Hey Vicky, fancy meeting for lunch next Thur/ Fri? x"

OMG. It's her! It's her! It's my favourite mum from mums group. Giddy with excitement I rushed into the living room to show hubby the text.

"That mum I like's invited me for lunch," I squealed. "Look! What shall I write back? Shall I text back straightaway or leave it a few minutes? I don't want to look too keen."

Wow, I think I'm converted.

On Tuesday I went to Nappucino* - a coffee morning dedicated to the brilliance of real nappies - and suddenly I'm seeing them in a whole new light.

For a start, real nappies no longer mean you need an A-level in origami to fold up the terry towelling and fix it with a pin. They come ready folded!

My baby girl is wearing a curious combination of a flowery vest that is slightly too big for her over a pair of tights. Nothing else.

She is in her swing chair and, worst of all, she is watching the snooker.

It can only mean one thing: Daddy's in charge.

"I don't want her watching TV."

"But she likes it, look," said Mr F, cracking open a beer and reclining on the sofa.

Annoyingly, Mollie seems to be having the best time ever, eyes widening with excitement every time Ronnie pots the black.

But it feels wrong.

Is TV bad for babies? Help me out here, I need ammo!

Ooh there's going to be a brawl at the Baby Show next month.

A breastfeeding guru to the stars (I know, why can't they just use midwives like the rest of us) is set to upset the militant mums by saying that, actually, it's okay to use a bottle and even formula.

Speaker Clare Byam-Cook, who counts Kate Winslet and Kate Beckinsale as clients, now thinks the 'breast is best' message has gone too far.

And she will be telling visitors to the NEC show that using a bottle, a pump or formula is 'acceptable' if a baby seems underfed.

Having encountered the breastfeeding brigade who seem to place formula on a par with heroin, I predict a riot. Expect rusks at dawn.

But I completely agree with Clare. Breastfeeding is not the be-all and end-all.

Bottle-fed babies sleep better for a start which means their mums have more energy and are not so grumpy from tiredness.

Then there's the sore nipples, the leaking, the embarrassment at having to whip your boobs out in public - all delights of breastfeeding that can make you feel awkward and miserable.

I've struggled on - out of guilt mostly (a Catholic education will do that to you), a martyred expression on my face throughout.

So it's nice to see an expert bringing some balance to the argument. Breast is best for babies, but not always for the mums.

So, I finally spoke to Sandra, the real nappy coordinator from Birmingham City Council, about their 'try before you buy' scheme.

And...

She's sending me out a form. Brilliant. Wth any luck I can drag this out another two weeks without having to foresake my Pampers.

In the meantime, I'm trying to get Mollie into a daytime routine instead of the sleep when she wants, eat when she wants chaos that currently reigns.

Can anyone help? I don't know when's the best time for three-month-old babies to nap, eat and play. Should they eat then nap? Play then eat? Play then nap? It's all so confusing when you've lost your brain in childbirth.

[Red faced]

Okay, so it's been five days since my hasty pledge to try real nappies and I still haven't pinned my first square of terry towelling.

But in my defence, I've been waiting on a phone call from Birmingham City Council to find out more about their intriguingly-titled Nappy Library, a scheme which allows parents to try before they buy.

I like to imagine it's a real library stacked with nappies of all shapes and sizes - possibly covered in rubber stamps and defaced by naughty school children?

But that doesn't sound too hygienic. And, besides, I'm not sure I want my little Mollykins wearing a nappy that's been soiled by a thousand other bottoms.

Oh no, what was I thinking? Woke up this morning with a stronge sense of foreboding and then realised what I'd stupidly said I'd do.
Can I back out? It's my birthday on Saturday, and, umm, I've got a sore throat and, and, it's RAINING. Surely I can be excused.

OK, I'm bound to regret this horribly but, in the spirit of Real Nappy Week which started on Monday, I'm going to try - just try, mind - a week without the disposables.

If it's good enough for BRMB's Caroline Martin and her baby Willow, who are heading up the campaign in Brum, it's good enough for me and Mollie.

Wish us luck...

Apparently, it is possible to decipher the various cries a baby makes but I'm way off knowing the hunger wail from the wet nappy one.

So, instead, I'm taking Mollie to baby sign language classes.

Soon she'll be able inform me of her nappy contents with just a wave of her hand.

"Ahh dirty nappy," I'll say, amazing friends with my powers of deduction. "Number two I'll warrant."

Sorry I haven't posted anything all weekend. It's because I've been too grumpy to write anything. I didn't want to update my blog (stupid blog), I didn't want to talk to my husband (stupid husband), and nothing, nothing would cheer me up.

Not even watching I'd Do Anything - usually the highlight of my week.

Deep down I would have quite liked to rampage through the house, smashing wine glasses and vases in manner of tantrumming two-year-old.