I'm leaving work to be a SAHM

I'll miss seeing my chatty tutor group everyday and am mortified that I'll never get to see Luke finally read... a book. They're a good bunch, even my associate tutor wasn't too bad really.

I was lucky to have a job where I felt I made a difference and got the chance to work with some fantastic young people who will grow into funny, intelligent and caring adults in the not too distant future.

Plus working school hours is an top perk in itself.

Hold on - why am I leaving again?! Hmm.. well, it's been something that has been on my mind for many months. I am ultimately the type of person who dedicates quite a lot of energy into what I do (when I'm not drinking coffee), and felt that I was devoting more time to work and writing than the boys.

In the end I just found it difficult to reconcile the need to have a job with the need to leave my baby with someone else, especially when illness came into the equation. I've written before about how hard it was when The Kid was ill. I felt very strongly that I needed to be in work but more strongly that a sick child should be with his mother, no matter how tolerant of coughs and colds the childminder happens to be.

I spoke to other Brummie Mums about this and opinion is split down the middle - some believe that women need things in their world that are not about their children while others would do anything to be at home with their little ones until they start school.

The thing is though, I've done this working parent melarckey for nearly ten years now, and some of those years were spent in full time work as a single parent. I did what I had to do but the fatigue it caused lingered for a long time, and all those years that The Boy spent in full time nursery will stay with me forever.

I don't want to feel anymore guilt. I just want to spend time with my babies.

Also, having a nine year old makes me all too aware of how quickly they grow up, something you can't comprehend until your baby is suddenly arguing with you about not wanting to wear Tesco trainers anymore.

This will only be for two short years at the most, and I have to say, I'm excited about it. I can't wait to go to more mother and baby groups, do all sorts of playing and craft things at home, go swimming, visit libraries and museums, see friends and family and read and write and so many, many things.

As a result of my leaving work to be a stay at home bum I'll be on the look-out for loads more things to do with little ones in the Kings Heath area. If you know of any groups, activities or goings on that you would like mentioned on this blog please email me at fromheretomaternity@live.co.uk