Carpet Burns, Funatics and the Tunnel of Hell

By Laura Yates on Sep 27, 09 11:48 AM

For the last couple of days I've been sporting some rather large carpet burns on my elbows.

Now, if you can just take your mind out of the gutter for a second I'll explain that they were actually inflicted..

..during a stay and play session.

It happened when I went to Funtatics in Stechord with fellow Brummie Mums Chopper and Lucy Henman-Hill.

You know the kind of thing, mums getting together to drink coffee while the rug-rats go and do their own thing. It was like a giant play barn with a toddler area; soft play; ball pools etc set in a big scaffolding cage.

It might not be the first place that springs to mind when mentioning injuries of the carpet burn persuasion but it's true- and very painful.

One minute me and The Kid were taking turns down the big slide, then I had the genius idea of moving up to the giant helter-skelter tube another floor up.

It was a black and yellow tunnel of hell.

We shot down it at about 300 mph, getting faster and faster in what seemed like a never ending hole of pain. The Kid howled almost from the get go and there was nothing I could do to slow us down, apart from try and jar my bare elbows against the sides of the plastic tube.

I could feel my skin searing because of the friction and I swear I could smell BBQ by the time we reached the bottom. There were little patches where the layers of skin had come off, that just looked smooth until little pin-pricks of blood started to bleed through.

But, apart from that, it was great! The Kid wasn't too put off and quickly went back on the other slide. He also wasn't at all grateful to me for sacrificing my own skin for him on the slide.

The toddler area in Funatics is the best one I've been to. The ball pool had a wind machine that suspended the balls in the air much to the amusement of any child in the vicinity. There were also books and toys as well as the assault course for older children (and immature adults).

I can't find details of it on the net, but it's on Stechford Retail Park near Matalan. Postcode is B33 9AN.