Best Labour Experience EVER

My pregnancy was moved to being consultant led, and I spoke to him as well as my midwife about what had happened before. He offered me a c-section, and gave me information on the risks and benefits of the procedure.

I spent a long time considering my options and eventually decided I would try for a natural delivery on the agreement that should it become apparent I wasn't dilating properly I would immediately have a section, provided there was someone available to perform one.

I also spoke to an anaesthetist. He told me how the epidural worked, and that I could have one from 2/3cm if I chose to. That way they would have more chance to make sure it was working before the real pain kicked in. Plus it would be easier to administer if I wasn't rolling around in pain, therefore reducing the associated risks.

Before I was in my third trimester I knew exactly what was going to happen during the labour. I spent lots of time thinking about it, visualising me telling my friends afterwards about how brilliant it had been. I was very confident that everything was going to be just fine - I had the support of The Other Half and some fantastic midwives.

When I spoke to The Other Half about what I wanted, I was very, very clear that I didn't want gas & air, and I did not, under any circumstances want pethadine. I had built up a very strong mental block that it was those two methods of pain relief that contributed to such a sickly and negative experience previously.

We were prepared. All systems go.

Nine days after my due date, my contractions started. I got up at 1 in the morning and went downstairs. I spent hours bouncing around on a birth ball, walking about and getting in and out of the bath.

At around 8am we went to hospital, mainly because we didn't want to risk being stuck in rush hour traffic.

My contractions were strong and had been 5 minutes apart for the last 6 hours. There was no way I was going to be less than 6cm dilated I thought. Nurses started to fill the birthing pool and one of the midwives had a look to see how far I'd got.

Not even one effing centimetre. With that they pulled the plug on the birth pool.

I howled my disappointment. I fell into floods of tears - I couldn't believe it was happening again. I couldn't believe it.

They led me off and sat me in one of the baths with the drop down sides. I sat there, fat and naked - arms folded with annoyance. A cheerful midwife popped in to see if I wanted any bubbles in case I felt awkward being naked in clear water.

"No." I said firmly, and folded my arms even tighter, like a petulant, swollen child.

I sat there from about 9am till 11am going through the motions with the contractions. They were bad enough to make me kick around a bit, but The Other Half held my hand and helped me breathe and concentrate on every one. It was painful but manageable.

At 11am I heard that my consultant was on the ward. "Right!" I demanded. "I want to see him!! I want my c-section! They promised a c-section! Bring me the consultant!" And I flopped out of the bath, waddled into the labour room and perched on the end of the bed.

Then, out of nowhere, it began.

11.15am

I suddenly started to get very, very strong contractions.

"Get me a midwife!! Get me someone right now!"

"But they've gone to get the consultant, they said there's nothing they can do at the mo..." The Other Half tried to reason with me.

"You get me someone now!" I hissed at him. He went a bit pale and disappeared, returning with the midwife.

She examined me. 4cm. "Oh, that's good Miss Yates, would you like to try your water birth now?" She chirrupped.

"NO I DON'T WANT A WATER BIRTH!! I CAN'T BE ONLY 4CM!! I CAN'T! GET ME AN EPIDURAL! GET ME SOMETHING! DO SOMETHING NOW!!"

I was having very strong contractions every 3 minutes, but in between I had time to regroup and get myself ready for the next one.

She offered me some gas & air. I had one puff and screamed at them that it was making it worse. They tried to explain that it couldn't make the pain worse, but I wasn't having it and they took the gas & air away.

11.30am

The anaesthetist arrived and started to prepare the epidural, after being called away from somewhere else in the hospital. "Are you sure you want this procedure?" She asked. I told her that I did, definitely.

11.35am

Someone came and asked if I wanted pethadine to take the edge off the pain until the epidural was in. I said that yes, I would like some pethadine.

"I thought you said you didn't..." Began The Other Half.

"I don't care what I said. Give me pethadine"

11.40am

I got a shot of pethadine in my thigh.

I'm not quite sure what happened, but I remember the anaesthetist being a little annoyed when I slurred "Y'know, I don't think I'm gonna want an epidural now. I think I'm gonna be just fine... "

The midwives and Other Half convinced me that the pain was going to get worse again, so I'd probably best have the epidural. I agreed in the end, although I couldn't see what all the fuss was about. They managed to convince the anaesthetist to stay and she started again to prepare the epidural.

11.45am

A doctor arrived to put a drip in my hand ready for the epidural.

Then I had a strange feeling. It felt like the baby's arm or leg had started to come out. I asked the midwife, who turned, looked at me, then ran out of the room. (which is always a comforting sight when you're about to give birth).

11.50am

The poor anaesthetist just stood there, not knowing whether to proceed or not.

The midwife returned with a senior midwife. She said the bag of fluid had started to come out and there was muconium in it so the baby needed to be born quickly. They broke the bag of fluid and I waited for the same mind-numbing, excruciating pain that I'd gone through before - I held my breath and... It didn't happen. The pain stayed at a constant, bearable level.

The anaesthetist hurried to get things ready.

11.55am

"Erm, excuse me, but I think I need to push."

The anaesthetist clattered her apparatus on the tray and marched out of the room.

I gave one almighty scream, and one almighty push, until everyone screamed at me to stop and do little pushes... I could have pushed him out in one go, I'm sure of that, but would have been badly torn.

12 noon

So, all it took was a couple of gentle pushes and out came The Kid, who was plonked happily on my belly.

"Hello" I said. His little eyes were bloodshot because I'd pushed him out so fast, and he gurgled because his little lungs were full of fluid, much like a caesarean baby because he hadn't spent more than five minutes in the birth canal.

I went from 4cm dilated to having a baby in 30 minutes. It was amazing. I was so happy, it was a massive achievement. My body had worked perfectly and I was really proud of myself. I would have gone and done it again straight away if I'd had the chance. It was brilliant.

Literally 4 minutes after he was born I asked to go home.

I went to a lovely room while I waited to be discharged. It had a double bed, en-suite, telly and chest of drawers like a hotel room. Not that it mattered because that night me and The Kid were home and tucked up in our own bed.

It was nothing short of absolutely perfect.