How do you choose childcare?

I chose a nursery for The Boy based purely on him being happy and placed no emphasis on educational affairs. I wasn't bothered about targets, achievement or 'teaching and learning'.

Did it work? Was this 'care centred' nursery I opted for the best choice for him in the long run? Well, five years down the line I have to say the Jury's still out. I spend more time beating myself with the guilt stick about leaving him in full time nursery, than worrying whether I did the right thing sending him to that particular nursery.

Thing is, it's easy to batter yourself with hindsight, but I did what I did out of necessity. I wasn't abandoning him and watching telly all day. But telling myself that doesn't really help. Leaving him in nursery, with the reality of never being 100% sure that every member of staff who stood on duty definitely treated him with patience, care and respect, will always be my cross to bear.

Whenever there is evidence of ill treatment of children in nurseries, I want to close my ears.

If I knew then, what I knew now I would have opted to place him with a childminder. Yet at the time, I wouldn't consider childminders because I was incredibly paranoid about him being abused, and in my naivety I thought a 'bad' childminder could be much worse than a 'bad' nursery.

Years of experience has taught me that all you can do is make informed choices that suit your needs. There is no one option that is better than the other. It depends entirely on the individuals in question and specific needs of the parents and child.

It's no good saying that nurseries are more heavily regulated and therefore safer than the solitary self-employed childminder. Any child care professional has to have the relevant training and jump through the appropriate hoops.

Arguably, parents have more control over who their baby spend time with when they opt for a childminder.;The nursery The Boy went to had countless agency staff. I had to trust the manager to ensure that these people were properly trained and vetted, and to keep an eye on the work experience girls that could barely string a sentence together. However, childminders can and do have work experience people.

Childminders' rules about sickness might be more flexible than nurseries; they may accommodate a sick child if they've got no others with them that day to consider. There's really no getting around the black and white policies ran by the nurseries, but then, it's very unlikely that you'd find yourself with no where to send your child because every staff member is ill.

I know someone who moved their baby from childminder to nursery because she found he spent most of his time in the car, doing school and nursery runs and ferrying round the other kids being minded. Nursery gave their child a good, stable base and as a result the baby was much happier.

There was a time when I thought employing an au-pair would be a good, cost effective solution - for a grand cost of £50 a week you could have a live in person to look after your child in their home environment, and you have an insight into how they live their life.

My grandparent's next door neighbour employed a string of au-pairs. There was a high turn-over of girls who came into the house, stayed for a week during which time made it clear they were very young, very homesick and not very good at English. The last au-pair she employed actually abandoned the child with my grandparents. She said she was going to the shop, and they never saw her again.

When you're looking at your options, try and spend a good deal of time with the people who potentially will be caring for your child. Don't be afraid to ask lots of questions and get into conversations, even if it's just to gauge what the people are like.

Always ask nurseries about staff turnover, and ask for definitive numbers so you can compare. It's not good if lots of people come and go through the doors. How often do they use agency staff, and how do they make sure these people are properly vetted? How often do they use work experience girls, and when they do, what do the girls do with the children?

If you're looking at childminders ask them what playgroups they go to, how often do they get out and about? Ask them what their personal feelings are on contentious issues like smacking or smoking around kids. These things will never apply to your child, but it will really help you judge a person and see if their views reflect your own.

Somewhere along the line, we have to trust others with our children and trust that they are safe.

It's not an easy decision to make, but the more informed your choice, and the more transparent the relationship between you and your childcare provider, the more happy and relaxed you'll feel when it's time for your baby to go there.