Boy Sues Mom!

By Laura Yates on May 27, 09 03:34 PM

Expect to see this headline in years to come, and apparently I've got no one to blame but myself.

Yesterday The Boy suffered a nasty bang on the head while playing outside with his mates.

A while later he was sat reading a leaflet on head injuries when he happened upon an advert strategically placed on the back - one of those 'where there's a blame, there's a claim' jobbies.

"Mommy?"
"Yessy?"
"What's compensation?"
"If a person does something silly, like leave a drain cover off, then someone has an accident like falling down the drain, that person might have to pay the injured party money, to kind of, say sorry and make up for it."
"How much money?"
"Well, that depends on how badly the person was hurt - if someone had to miss lots of work for example, they'd probably be entitled to quite a lot of compensation."
"Can anyone claim compensation?"
"Lots of people try to nowadays. It's sad really, people will try and get money for the silliest little things - like that time your Auntie Lesley tried to sue Tesco for putting one of their freezer signs too low and she bumped her head on it while leaning in to look at the frozen peas." The Boy found this most amusing.

He went quiet then, studying the leaflet thoughtfully. Then he went off to phone his Uncle Christopher.

When he came back he announced that he was going to sue me for the bump on his head. Apparently it's my fault because I insisted he play outside in the sun rather than sit inside playing computer games. If it weren't for me he would never have fallen over and I've got no one to blame but myself.

The news that my 9 year old son is planning to extort money from me was bad enough, but what was worse that he was going to do it in such a premeditated way. Turns out his Uncle Christopher (apparently The Boy's new legal advisor) has recommended that he wait till he is 21 before putting in a claim against me, because I'll "Have forgotten all about it by then and won't be able to defend myself, therefore upping his chances of winning the case and maximising any compensation payable."

I don't know whether to be proud of his financial acumen or very, very afraid.