Top 10 ways to get labour going

10 - Rasberry Leaf Tea

Ask any woman more than 50 years old what to do to bring on labour and she'll immediately tell you to drink pints and pints of rasberry leaf tea. Sorry for the sweeping generalisation but most women I've spoken to insist this method works. I don't think it does. So there.

9 - Spicy Food

Hmm.. yes, I can see that this would work. I suppose it gets your digestive tract working faster, which is what your body does at the start of labour to clear your system. (apparently.) Thing is, what you don't want to happen is to have the runs during the early stages of labour. This happened to me. I'm sure there are some things more unpleasant than this - I just can't think of any.

8 - Castor Oil

DON'T DO THIS. For the reasons listed above, plus the fact there is no evidence to suggest it brings on labour. This one can really make you ill. Don't do it. Just don't.
The End.

7 - Sweep

No, not Sooty's mate! (oh, the humour!) I'm on about a good old sweep of the membranes to get things started. I've known lots of people have them but they've all gone on to have their labour induced medically.

6 - Accupuncture

I know a lady who does accupuncture and she is resolute in her opinion that carefully placed needles are the only thing needed to bring on labour. I wonder if her opinion would be so resolute if she didn't get paid to stick said needles into people?

5 - Sex

Ah yes! The first thing on the mind of every heavily pregnant woman who has gone past her due date. Just think of all that lovely prostoglandin or whatever it is. That should get you in the mood. Maybe that castor oil is worth a second thought, hmm?

4 - Gym Balls

I spent many an evening bouncing round on one of these babies! I do attribute my speedy labour to the time invested limbering up my cervix in this way, but whether or not it actually brings on labour I don't know.

3 - Pineapple

I think there could be something in this - I scoffed a load of it before I went for a jog the day before The Kid was born. But then, I had been scoffing loads of it just about every day for three weeks before he was born so, they jury's still out on that one
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2 - Nipple Stimulation

One to talk to your midwife about - definitely don't do it till you've reached your EDD. Stimulation of the nipple can release oxytocin which WILL cause your uterus to contract.

1 - Excersise

I've put this as number one as I swear this is what started me off. If it hadn't been for me running around Kings Heath Park one Sunday morning back in October The Kid would still be in my womb to this day. Fact.

So there you have it. If all else fails eat a load of curry then wash it down with a pint of rasberry leaf tea, nip into your local accupuncturist before jogging home to have sex with a pineapple.