Fat's Life
What is it with women? Unless you're a whacking great munter you can't say you'd like to lose a few pounds without getting henpecked to death.
I'm a size 12/14 at the moment; neither fish nor fowl. I'm not big enough to say I'd like to lose half a stone without the person next to me's head falling off in shock, and not thin enough to fit nicely into trim looking trousers.
Honestly, the mere mention of calorie counting illicits a verbal onslaught befitting someone who's just drowned a bag of cats.
"You? Watching your weight? Why? What's the matter with you? For God's sake, it's ridiculous..."
Okay. I admit it wouldn't be exactly polite, when someone announced they were embarking on a weight loss plan, to say "It's about time, you fat mess." then give their belly a good wobble before walking off. But come on! Does it really require a lecture as to the evils of skinny women?
Couldn't we say "I think you're fine as you are, but good look to ya."?
If you're a size 18 you've 'let yourself go', but be much smaller than that and mention that you'd like to cut out the cake and you're practically vilified.
You can't so much as decline a quality street without the ears of every woman in a 20yard radius pricking up. "What? No chocolate? Dieting are you? Hmm? HHMM??"
Is it so horrifying that I'd like to turn my tight size 12 waist into a comfortable size 10? How big to I have to be before it's considered acceptable to think about shedding some pounds?
Must we really have to wait until we're being winched out of our bedrooms through the ceiling before we can look at our eating habits? Surely it's better to slim down, firm up and keep to a healthy lifestyle while we are still a moderate size?
Grossly underweight girls being held up as the 'ideal' is wrong. It is frightening to think looking skeletal is what teenage girls aspire to. But, just because you want to drop one dress size does not mean you're trying to fit in with the media's unrealistic portrayal of women. It doesn't mean you're obsessed with your weight and it definitely doesn't mean you're unhappy.
When it comes to losing weight or just staying in shape, it's probably best to say nothing, otherwise you'll end up with everyone else's opinion to contend with.
And of course the irony is if you do successfully shift a few pounds, you'll get lots of compliments telling you how much better you look.
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Laura Yates - Brummie mum Laura Yates is a 27 year old mother of two from Kings Heath. She gives her take on family life in the city.
"Wow, have you lost weight?"
That's the one you get when you haven't seen someone for a few months, to which the truthful reply is "no, I'm just not as fat as you remember me being."
I thought by switching to a fish and vegetarian diet, the weight would fall off and I would look just like they do in the magazines, little did I know i'd be forced to pick more out of sheer hunger and desperation.
As they say "a moment on your lips and a lifetime on your hips"