January 2009 Archives

I can now finally say that at 16 months of age, The Kid has completely finished breastfeeding. Hoorah! I never thought this day would come! I had visions of having to feed him at 6am well into his 30s.

My fears that he would be hooked on a morning bottle have also not materialised. He might have the odd one every now and then but, by in large, he wakes up at around 6, then dozes back off for half an hour or so.

Then when he wakes up at about half six, he's up for the day. Either I or the other half take him downstairs for his breakfast. It's all very sociable I have to say.

Now, there appears to be a downside to this (isn't there always?). I've not fed The Kid for a few days and he has developed a bit of eczema on his face. He's also got dry skin on his armies and leggies. (That's arms and legs to normal adults).

So, I've just about got to a size where I can complain about my weight without getting punched in the face. Christmas has been and gone and, although I'm not morbidly obese I think it's time that the half stone I put on disappeared.

As yet no one at work seems to have noticed that I've been wearing the only two pairs of trousers that still fit without causing me great pain. I am afraid though that it is only a matter of time before someone realises that I've been alternating between my pin-stripe suit trousers from circa 2003 and my faded black linen ones.

Me being a woman, and women being stubborn about things like this - I'm refusing to go out and spend money on bigger trousers. Instead I have joined Fat Club (I won't say what it's actually called, just think Fat Fighters from Little Britain and you'll get the idea.)

I went to a meeting on Thursday, got weighed then stayed for the 'group' part of the session afterwards - something I'm not going to do again. I spent thirty minutes listening to Sue, (a self confessed loud, proud and larger than life over-eater) shouting angrily in a broad Irish accent at Kim, the group leader.

What is it with women? Unless you're a whacking great munter you can't say you'd like to lose a few pounds without getting henpecked to death.

I'm a size 12/14 at the moment; neither fish nor fowl. I'm not big enough to say I'd like to lose half a stone without the person next to me's head falling off in shock, and not thin enough to fit nicely into trim looking trousers.

Took the kid to baby drama class and he loved it! Although my suspicions of him being an ASBO baby are looking more likely to be true!!

It's finally happened. I've turned into one of those mothers I hate.

I've began to dole out unsolicited advice on parenting to my friends.

It's shocking, isn't it? I hated when other mothers would attack me with advice - it rained down on me from all sides. I just couldn't sort the wheat from the chaff. Being a first time mom I tried to listen to everything and would constantly beat myself up because I'd always be going against what someone had told me to do.

Now, with an eight year old and new toddler in tow, I'm playing for the other team (so to speak.) The advisee, has become the advisor. I must have spent fifteen minutes on the phone to Lucy Henman-Hill earlier, lecturing her on how to get her child to sleep through the night. I actually heard myself say at one point "What you need to do is..."

Upon collecting The Kid yesterday afternoon, I was made aware that he's getting into the habit of scratching and pinching.

Now I was well aware of his penchant for grabbing handfuls of flesh (I've got the scratches to prove it) but I thought it was only me who he routinely savaged. Turns out he's been grabbing other children's cheeks until he's prized off by a sturdy adult.

It would appear that I'm not quite resolute enough when it comes to my NYRs - and it's only day two of starting them in earnest.

I was just about to start writing about how I'd gone a whole day with no sugar, when it dawned on me that, yet again, I've inadvertently eaten a great big load of it without even realising.

This time I was offered cakes and biscuits from last night's meeting. I scoffed a slice of cake on the spot. Then I seized two chocolate digestives, and ran off to eat them at my desk like a feral animal.

The day started off so well. I was full of the hopes and promise of my New Years' Resolutions. No sugar had passed my lips since last night and I was confident that I'd go through the day without it. That was until exactly 8.15am when I found the two Jaffa Cakes in my top drawer, left over from Friday.

I have given much thought to this New Years' Resolutions. Last year I successfully gave up buying DVDs. This year I'm being a bit more ambitious..

For everything I give up in 2009, I'm going to take up something positive.

Spending at least half an hour every week day evening watching what the people of Emmerdale are getting up to has been one of my favourite things to do for many years now. Alas, it is now time for this little escape of mine to come to an end. I'm sure I can find something else to do with two and a half hours every week, so I'm..