Should Children go to Funerals?

By Laura Yates on Dec 2, 08 08:53 AM

It is Uncle Mark's funeral today. The Boy is coming but we're not taking The Kid. It's not like I'm against taking little ones to any family occasions but it's going to be a long day, and I don't know that it would be fair to drag him round when he's not well anyway.

I know a lot of people who wouldn't entertain the thought of taking children The Boy's age and even older to funerals. I don't understand the logic. Does the sense of loss and grief not emerge until you hit thirteen years old? Do people not need to say their goodbyes and share their sorrow when they're young?

"Aren't you worried he'll be sad?" Said one of my shocked friends when I told them I was taking The Boy.

Sad? Of course he'll be sad, he might even be so sad he'll cry. It's a funeral, we've lost someone dear to us and it's time to say our very last goodbyes. He'd be just as sad sat at home, he'd just feel excluded as well.

Funerals aren't pleasant occasions, but that is the case whether you're old or young. If a child is old enough to know they've lost someone, it is completely appropriate that they should be able to say their goodbyes too.