Magic chair

I'd like to draw your attention to a wondrous, wondrous thing. Behold the magic that is the Mamas & Papas 'Star Lite Swing Chair'.

Unlike other swing chairs which require manual labour on the part of the parent, this one's battery-operated. It also plays nursery rhymes, guaranteed to send all babies to sleep.

As I sit here and type I can see my daughter, from way across the living room, rocking away contentedly to Jack and Jill.

She's safe, she's happy and she doesn't need me.

Later I'll be able to have a shower, a whole uninterrrupted shower without having to get out halfway through, dripping shampoo all through the hall to check the cat hasn't eaten her.

Heck, I might even put on mascara.

And it's all thanks to the chair, oh lovely chair.