April 2008 Archives

Is it very wrong that I want Mollie to love me best of all?

Every time she smiles at Mr F and someone remarks, 'Oooh she's gonna be a daddy's girl,' I want to scratch their eyes out and shout, 'Nooo, she's mine, all mine!'

Luckily, my husband is equally competitive.

Take this morning. Midway through singing, 'My girl Mollie-Pop, ba-da-ba-ba, you make my heart go giddy-up', I caught him staring at me with barely concealed hate.

"That's my song," he hissed. "I made up Mollie-Pop, you can't call her that."

"Watch me," I said. "Anyway, you've stolen plenty off me, What about Mollie Mollie Moo (sung to the tune of Scooby Doo)? That was mine."

I'm ashamed to say we spent the rest of breakfast staking our individual claims on the many nicknames, songs and lullabies that have been modified in Mollie's honour.

Are other parents this immature?

I've just had a look at the website of Claire Verity. Remember her? She was the meanie maternity nurse from controversial Channel 4 show Bringing up Baby which pitted three forms of childrearing against each other.

Claire promoted the Truby King method of parenting which includes putting babies in their prams outside, no matter the weather, and letting them cry themselves to sleep.

Unsurprisingly, childless Claire became a figure of hate (she has no less than six Facebook groups dedicated to her downfall).

So, bored, I thought I'd have a butchers at her website - see whether she's still in business or if she's been lynched by an angry mob of NCT members. And I found something really shocking.

If you fancy a change from Johnson's, I've been using a lovely baby products range from the ethical American brand - Burt's Bees.

Not tested on animals, natural and made in the most sustainable way, the Baby Bee goodies are perfect for little eco-warriors just starting out.

A friend bought me the Getting Started baby kit which includes a shampoo in a bar, not liquid form (so no dripping in young eyes) and a diaper cream that leaves little bums as soft as they should be.

I'm considering turning to the bottle - the formula bottle, that is. Breastfeeding is just so uncool.

Here's an example: Earlier today, I leaked milk in the queue at French Connection. Can you imagine anything more embarrassing?

One minute I was all excited by my size 12, non-maternity purchases. The next, I noticed the sales assistant (male, Toni & Guy haircut) looking in utter horror and incomprehension at my weeping chest.

With quiet dignity, I buttoned up my coat, replaced the clothes on the racks and bid a hasty retreat to Mothercare.