A painful sign?

By Victoria Farncombe on Apr 22, 08 12:09 PM

Apparently, it is possible to decipher the various cries a baby makes but I'm way off knowing the hunger wail from the wet nappy one.

So, instead, I'm taking Mollie to baby sign language classes.

Soon she'll be able inform me of her nappy contents with just a wave of her hand.

"Ahh dirty nappy," I'll say, amazing friends with my powers of deduction. "Number two I'll warrant."

Our local Tiny Talk classes started last Friday and are held at The Bridge in Shirley by Rachel Snape, a fresh-faced mum-of-two with an encyclopaedic knowledge of nursery rhymes.

Unfortunately Mollie snoozed all through her first lesson leaving Muggins here to carry the can and learn the rudimentary signs of milk and pain.

"Practice them when you get home," said Rachel.

Which proved trickier than it sounds.

Now milk was no problem. I frantically performed the downward pincer movement before, during and after every feed - whether Mollie was looking or not.

But pain was proving a real pain until last night when my little princess banged her head on the living room floor.

Brilliant, I thought, here's my chance.

As Mollie lay bawling on the rug, eyes screwed tight, I shook my hand as directed.

"Pain, Mollie? Have you got a pain?"

The bawling continued, tiny eyes clamped shut.

"Mollie? Mollie?" I said, shaking my hand in her face. "Pain? Pain?"

"Waaaa," cried Mollie. "Waaaaaaaa."

"Aren't you going to pick her up," called Mr F from the kitchen.

And then I said this, I actually said this...

"I can't. "I'm teaching her pain."

Let's hope next week's lesson doesn't involve fire or nuclear disaster!