Five signs labour is imminent:
1. You wake up and feel the need to bleach
2. Strangers smile and nod knowingly in your direction.
3. Cranes and pulleys are needed to roll you out of bed in the morning.
4. Friends and relatives answer your phone calls with a (pause for excited breath): "Hellooooooo?"
5. Daytime TV is actually quite hard to follow...



Have you had an urge for tarmac yet?
Ha ha, noooo. That's not in any of my baby books!