Recently by Faraz Yousufzai

Ok. So maybe I'm only sleeping 4 hours a night and I've had a lot on my mind recently and yes, I am taking mild arthritic drugs to quell the swelling in some of my joints. But I'm fine! Really.

I've had a few weeks off work courtesy of the NHS to 'take some time out' and 'get my self together'. The faceless GP's at my bland box of a surgery have been wonderfully supportive. They wanted to sign me off for a month. Quite shocked at the repeated ferocity of their demands, I suspiciously thought the family might have paid them a small bribe (or incentives as they are officially called) as a ploy to force me to get some rest. Of course I refused, at first, but they eventually got me with an NLP like, hypnotic repetition of 'You are depressed'. A piece of paper was quietly handed to me that would 'help me sleep'.

Fast forward to today and the time out has actually done me the world of good. Of course I threw away that piece of paper and got on with 'getting myself together'. And so after trying to rest, relax and forget about the multitudes of stress that I have allowed to be imposed upon me, I have relearned how to breathe and in a rather born again sort of way, know what I want to do with life, I think.

On reflection, I may I have just had my mid life crisis slightly early at 30, but whatever it was, I wholly and heartedly recommend it - minus the painful joints of course.

Be warned though. There are side effects to any hiatus from the fast lane.

My most unexpected one has been the sudden removal of the loathing I once enjoyed for people on long term benefits. My GP's seemed strangely excited that I may be depressed and tried exceptionally hard to extract a confession. Thankfully their dark magic didn't work on me but a lesser mortal would be forgiven for falling prey to their powers of persuasion. So many folks end up on anti depressants with labels that, in time, they will live up to, only for judgmental bloggers like me to then blame as leeching off the state.

I guess GP's are immensely important to the physical, civic and economic health of our communities. Problem is of course, they will need additional incentives to do anything about it. Apparently the 100k average salary they get is not enough.

Anyways...lets not doctor bash again! its just good to be back.

Oh and I have seen the wealth of inspired comments that readers as far away as New Zealand have been posting on here. Thank you of course to all of you. You'll be hearing from me very soon...

Go on have a guess.... After Christianity and Atheism, its the largest religion in the UK...

Now when I asked educated people in Sutton Coldfield this a few years ago as part of a week long survey that was being done, the average figure was around 15%. Some particularly well educated fellows put the figure as high as 40% - but they were just special.

Well, sorry to disappoint, but its only a whopping 3% of the population, or in real terms - 2m of the 67m folks that we share this green and pleasant land with.

Great news from Home Secretary Jacqui Smith then, when she confirmed last week that they're not all benefit scrounging bomb toting parasites and have contributed over £3bn to the national economy in the last 12 months alone. On top of that, they are also harbouring over 10,000 millionaires in their midst. I am still trying to smoke them out to interest them in funding the Muslim Writers Awards 2009, but I think it will take special branch to find this lot...

Having said that though, Birmingham's has its fare share of these millionaires and I must admit, with only a few exceptions, they are a thoroughly good bunch. Its easy to criticise and say they could do more, but they do seem to be trying to play their part and plan a long game to really impact the communities around them.

You could at this point accuse me of just a tad bit of bias as I'm knocking their doors for dosh....but really! Me? Biased? I'm about as objective, detached and irreverent as they come...can't buy my love sir.

Unless of course you are reading this, have lots of spare cash, a big heart and you want to fund the Muslim Writers Awards 2009....

Just kidding... We are actually in the rather enviable position of having to fight off funders and choose who we want! Interestingly though, none of them are Muslim owned businesess!

I guess it was inevitable. A new baby, work stress and the Awards was enough to just tip me over the edge.

By Sunday night, I was starting to cough and splutter and feel feverish. By Wednesday night is was all over. Now I'm not much of one to see a doctor but this was one of the very rare occasions that I was forced to by the ferocity of my symptoms. Little did I know that they would also tell me that I am highly over stressed and should have a week off work to relax before my blood pressure boils over. Then the usual happened. They prescribed antibiotics and I smiled submissively and left the room. I think I've still got the prescription somewhere...

Instead, I call my homeopath. He never lets me down. Now I have a very real love/ hate relationship with these natural remedies. I don't understand how they work and the explanations always given defy any logical science. This angers my rational self immensley.

But in a powerful tension with this anger is the indisputable truth of personal experience which rudely interjects everytime my rational self attempts to lay judgment down upon it. Homeopathy cured me of my arthritis 4 years ago after every rheumatologist in the land had examined and drugged me. And they have worked on my infant kids astoundingly well for the last decade.

So in these moments of weakness when the doctor can't prescribe anything more potent than tyrozet throat lozenges or more imaginative than antibiotics, I turn to my homeopath.

After explaining the symptoms, he is sure that what I need is 'Hepar Sulph' - whatever that is. But alas, I have run out! So I call back and ask if there is an alternative...'Just sniff the empty bottle like you were doing crack, into each nostril, as hard as you can' was the reply.

Amazingly - it worked. After a coughing fit lasting the whole day that regularly ended in retching and mock vomiting, it just stopped. I lay down and finally got some sleep.

I just sat there the following day sucking up the white powder as if my life depended on it. Just have to hope that when the kids grow up and learn about drugs, they don't think back to some distant memory when they saw their father snorting mysterious white stuff whilst shaking uncontrollably from cold sweats and fevers.

I think I will have some explaining to do.

By which time of course, Birmingham's Muslim community has either descended into guns, gangs and perpetual violence as the drug capital of the western world, or more optimistically, has risen up successfully to reject tribalism and all its associated poisons to realise its vast creative, political and economic might.

Neither future, like my illness, is inevitable. I betrayed the rights that my body has over me. It was my choice to do that and so I paid the inevitable price of illness. We still have a chance to honour the rights that our young people have over us, before we pay an inevitable and deadly price...

So after the baby was born I had 2 weeks of paternity leave to enjoy it. And what a fortnight it was!

Great news from the office that we had just won a new contract to help young people into work across the whole of Brum and getting used to sleepless days and nights again, seemed to wipe out the first week pretty fast. But sleep deprivation is somehow manageable when you are staring into the eyes of a beautiful baby boy (who is now called Yunus).

By week 2, we were only 6 days away from the Muslim Writers Awards 2008. Jermaine Jackson was due to touch down in 4 days and there was still the small matter of a 1000 people black tie live televised awards show to pull off.

But pull it off we did!

Almost 1000 people filled the room of the ICC on 29th March, dressed impeccably and buzzing with excitement. 5 hours later, after an eclectic mix of singing, speaking, movie trailers, a Moroccan feast and awards galore, I closed the evening with some well chosen words and a great sigh of relief. The lights went down, the cameras stopped and I stepped down from the podium to greet my family.

After absorbing the praising crowd and my sons warm hug, I made my way back to the Radisson hotel for the after dinner party with Jermaine. As you can see, we were all rather knackered!

I whipped out my guitar and sung a jubilant song of love to God...To which most people rolled their eyes and carried on talking to themselves.

The next morning, I had the pleasure of taking Jermaine and his lovely wife Haleema back to London. With the two of us at the front, I had him almost all to myself to ask endless questions about everything. They are the most humble and down to earth multi-millionaires I have ever met. Both Jermaine and Haleema exude an overflowing fountain of kindness, humour and humanity. I couldn't think of a nicer pair to bestow wealth and influence on for the benefit of mankind. Truly inspirational!

Now of course, I cannot share our private conversation here, but when I asked if he would play acoustic bass on my debut album (which has been pending since 1993), he said 'of course' and that his studios in LA should be ready soon and that when the band is ready, we should swing by and make a record!

I am sure I dreamt all of that but if it ever comes true....we could be the new Jackson 5! Whatever....

This has got to have been the most eventful 4 weeks of my life...so much so...I've got to do it in parts!

On March 16th my wife gave birth to a perfectly perfik baby boy. Weighing in at just under 9lbs with all fingers and toes and bits in place, we had not a worry in the world. Which is quite a contrast to our state just 7 hours earlier...

My wife was giving it some in the early stages of labour when in walks the grotesque and incomprehensible village idiot, otherwise known as the 'junior doctor'. I make no apologies for my vitriolic fervour against them as I am writing not as a professional, but as plain ol' punter that is thoroughly p***** off!

Time and time again, the village idiots would wonder in, have a gander and then proceed to tell us in that lovely doctor type of way that, if we don't act now, our baby might die because he is already 16 days over the due date and the labour wasn't 'progressing' according to their timetable.

They desperately tried to coerce us into having an induced labour via a synthetic hormone. We had done our research, discussed it with 20+ mums who had recently used it, and had specified in our birth plan that we categorically didn't want it. But did that stop them?

One after another, they came in with a 'new' piece of evidence. 'If your baby ingests the meconium stool, he could die instanteously'. 'Look at the heart rate, it dipped twice in the last 10 hours and could mean that he will be still born'.

I mean really! Did they have to be so bloody blatant! Its only because I've grown up around doctors and know what arses most of them are that I could just ignore them. But my good lady was in a rather emotional state and being told that she is being irresponsible while in the throws of labour, I suggest are not the best bedside manners?

It wasn't until the new shift change and a blonde haired village idiot decided it was time for a c-section that I demanded to see our consultant.

Minutes later...enter the first Doctor we had met in the Womens Hospital ever. Mr Piri is the don of all dons.

He listened and he actually looked like he was listening. He talked to us like adults that had half a brain and he laughed at and apologised for the village idiots and their scare tactics.

Everything he said is a matter of weighing out risks. All that was said to us was true, but how it was presented to us made it entirely false. The probabilities of all these things going wrong were miniscule and should not therefore be used a means to make grand decisions like a c-section, when our birth plan had specified this to be a route of last, last resort.

To cut a long story short, she had a perfectly natural delivery, the baby was 'blissing out' on milk in no time and I, was thoroughly exhausted.

The whole thing was a great experience. We had fought the village idiots with 4 children and finally won the battle. So my advice is: By-pass the village idiots completely and demand to see your consultant as soon as you go in. It's your right!

Forgive the silence folks. It's been an insanely busy 4 weeks. And the best is yet to come.

10 days and counting until the Muslim Writers Awards hits Brum. Jermaine Jackson is flying over especially for it to join the 1000 strong global guest list and its being aired live to millions of people across the world. Yours truly has pulled the short straw as host for the evening so pray for me please!

It's hugely comforting though to be part of such a fantastic team. They are all working over time and last night we had our penultimate steering group meeting. Between the nervous laughter and slightly less gentle digs at one another, everything is pretty much on target - from confirmed bums on seats to the awesome technical wizardry and brute force of our PR machine. When I left, only the odd heartbeat was going awry.

The Chief Executive of the City Council, Stephen Hughes, has shown a tremendous amount of foresight and leadership in his support of this event. He understands that it will help promote Brum on the global stage as a global City to new audiences and new investors, as well as contributing to building stronger and more integrated communities.

Our PR agent, who also happens to be the Baron of Ballencrieff, asked us yesterday what the perfect headline the morning after would read. After various grandiose and fanciful attempts we humbly uttered: "British Muslims make the Difference Write now" - which kind of gets close to my belief in the power of the arts and inparticularly the written word, to do nothing less but change the world. We can but dream!

Check out the website at www.muslimwritersawards.com. We are reserving a few seats for MAIL readers so if you want to come, do get in touch!

Read the comment that Peter left in the previous entry. This is my repsonse:

Goodness. But I understand what you mean....

I used to feel the same in Sutton and Mere Green at home time coming back from school. The NF boys were often out and about hurling insults at me trying to provoke a reaction. Unitl one day, that wasnt enough for them. So a chap by the name of Peter Goodman decided to surprise me and attack me from behind. Gotta give it to him though. It was a good clean shot that knocked me right out. I came to about 30 seconds later but not a soul came to my defence. The parade was full of people, white people, just standing there, waiting for their bus, old and young, and no one came to help me up or ask me if I was OK. Actually, thinking back, no one would even look at me.

I hated white people for a while. How could they ignore someone who needed help. Was it really just because of my colour or my faith?

I dont know why nobody saw fit to help me and I dont too much care now either. What I do know is this:

I have met many beautiful Muslims, Christians, athiests, Jews, Sikhs, Hindus and Rastarfaris in my time, but equally, I have also met some of the most horrid Muslims, Christians, athiests, jews, Sikhs, Hindus and Rastas as well.

Peter. I have always been at the forefront of criticising the Muslim Community. Perhaps too much sometimes. But dont let your anger towards a small but horid group of people who want to do terrible things, prevent you from being just. remember - Indiscriminate killing starts with indiscriminate hate.

I used to be a street trader on Northfields high st when I was 16...I got used to the abuse but I didnt let myself hate...If you want to meet up sometime to talk...the offer is there...

Totally understand where you are coming from Hoque and many people feel the same as your man Rachel. Let me try and explain where my thoughts come from...

Islam has almost 1500 years of profound theological, legal and social scholarship. Never in that time has there ever been a 'branch' of thought that promoted the indiscrimate taking of life. 'Extremism' as we now term it, is probably best described as a post post modernist 20th century ideology. It has no roots in ANY faith - no matter what it claims.

This is important to understand because, as I said on Midlands Today last night and again this morning on Radio WM, the Muslim community is as bewildered as you are and has no more to do with violent extremism than anyone else. And yet, the focus and expectation to 'solve' it is laid squarely, if not wholly, at their feet.

The problem of violent extermism is a shared one. If we took the time to listen we would find a Mulsim community that desperately wants to be a part of the solution and not just a mere adjunct to it as the Councils top down approach and your comments, Mr Hoque, seek to promote.

My thanks however to Rachel for caring enough to offer a positive contribution to this debate and providing my inspiration for this entry. The only way to move forward is to get people meeting and talking...its not easy though. Many communities lack confidence in their ability to connect with people of other faiths and backgrounds. There is a lot of fear, mistrust and myth to break down but it can be done....it must be done!

There are lots of groups that have sprung up over the last few years to do just this. Birmingham Citizens for example, is arguably one of the most successful of these. Led by Sajida Madni, they have managed to not only bring together but keep together an amazingly diverse group of people that are actively working to better their communities.

Rachel is reaching out her hand to someone from another community to get in touch. Anyone willing to take it and prove that Im not just making all this up? Leave a comment and we'll take it from there....

Had a call yesterday from 'Giles' at the BBC. He wanted a few reflective comments on the impact that the terrorism case being decided in Leicester's Crown Court might have on communities here in Brum. We met on the steps of the 'Floozy in the Jacuzzi' and though I mumbled something vaguely coherent, this is what I would have liked to have said, had I not been running late for a mtg and thinking about 101 other things at the time:

Communities like Washwood Heath where the alleged assailants lived cannot be tarred with any brush. I have had the honour of sitting on 2 governing bodies of 2 secondary schools there and I have witnessed fantastic strides forward, not only in educational attainment, but in the aspirations and attitudes of their kids and families.

Great stuff....But there are other forces at work too, which nobody denies.

Militant extremist thinking exists. It's not prevalent by any means, but on dark street corners it finds a home, particularly amongst the excluded and marginalised. And it has fed not only on our failed foreign policies as government research claims, but also on our well intentioned domestic attempts in 'preventing extremism'.

Some folks may remember that immediately after 7/7, the Government set up a series of themed task forces that saw the best of the best coming together to devise proposals of how we can 'prevent extremism together' or PET as its endearingly now called. 70+ recommendations were formulated, and some pretty damn good ones at that, but only 2 ever saw the light of day. What made them so pregnant with the potential to really have an impact was that they were premised on 'empowering' people to do things for themselves.

What has actually happened is that huge amounts of 'PET' money has passed into the hands of Local Authorities who are getting busy with what they do best - empowering themselves and telling people how to do things. They are busy creating top down structures that say 'you can't do it for yourselves, so shut up, listen and we'll do it for you'. Many of us are sitting on the sidelines, unable to influence its course and watching yet more money being wasted, so more boxes can be ticked.

With 1 in 50 of every 'extreme' police raids resulting in no charges or apology to the traumatised families, relations between young people and state authority is at an all time low. This of course serves only to push more of them out of mainstream civil society and into the numerous underworlds of crime and lunacy.

I am not blaming anyone for anything. I am just saying that when x happens, y is the reaction. My responsibility as a citizen and indeed as a Muslim, is to help whoever I can move beyond the world of mere reactions and towards a higher state of awareness that breaks the cycle of distrust and blame. It's not an easy task. No one said it would be.

But it is made even more difficult by clumsy Council leadership that gives no value to the voices that have the power to make a difference. Be it the Learning Curve in Balsall Heath, women's groups like Ulfa Arts, or the work of inspirational youth leaders like Amir Karim - creating new structures like the 'Women's Alliance' or the 'Pakistani Forum' are meaningless because they are state run transplants into the body of a community that will reject foreign organs of state.

The body of this community is not dead and does not need transplants or boxes ticked. It is brimming with life and hope. This needs to be affirmed, not ignored.

So that's what I would have liked to have said to Giles from the BBC...I'll have to wait and see how it comes out tonight on Midlands Today...all 3 seconds of it probably!

F out.

I've been blogging for a week now....A huge thank you to everyone that has taken the time to visit and indulge me in my musings and even contribute with their own comments. Keep 'em coming please....

Ive got some great news....45 days and counting till the event of the year takes place....and you can be there...
Jermaine Jackson is flying in for it. James Caan the Dragon is staying over for it....A list of Lords and Ladies, noblemen and women have already claimed their seats for it....what is it????

On Saturday March 29th, the ICC in Birmingham will host the Muslim Writers of the Year Awards 2008. They have received thousands of entries from across the length and breadth of Britain and by all accounts, the quality of work has been tremendous. The event will be black tie with live music, performance poetry and a 3 course Morroccan inspired meal. It will be broadcast live and covered by a range of international networks and to top it all off...yours truly will be hosting it...unless Mishal Hussain - The BBC anchor woman says yes of course.

More info on this come...stay tuned!

To find pout more about the Muslim Writers Awards 2008 and to book your seat, please visit: www.muslimwritersawards.com