HOW do you tell who is singing out of tune in I'd Do Anything?

Easy. Retreat to a different room so that you can still hear, but no longer see, your telly.

Even those of us who seem to be so tone deaf we can't sing for toffee, will be able to tell which of Andrew Lloyd Webber's warblers is wobbling.

Works every time, but especially tonight when Ashley got the old heave-ho.

Meanwhile, if the amazing weather forced you to miss the new series of Gladiators when it began at 6pm on Sky One tonight, don't forget that the first edition is repeated at 10pm tonight, Sunday and at 5pm tomorrow, Monday.

Just a thought... perhaps the girls on I'd Do Anything should be forced to Hang Tough. Maybe that would make 'em sing better. After all, you only swing when your winning.

THE 2007-2008 Premiership soccer season will come to its exciting conclusion on Sunday and here's how to watch the key matches which will all kick off at 3pm.

Live Super Sunday (Sky Sports 1, 2pm) has Wigan Athletic v Manchester United, or you can press the channel's red button to see the 'interactive' match - Blues v Blackburn Rovers. They're on Sky 401 or Virgin 511.

Sky Sports 2 has Chelsea v Bolton Wanderers (Sky 402, Virgin 512).

And Setanta has the crumbs - Portsmouth v Fulham (Sky 429, Virgin 538).

With relegation from the promised land staring them in the face, Blues' fans, whether in the ground, at home or down the local boozer will barely be able to watch their match without devouring all of their fingernails.

The TV camera crews at St Andrew's would be well advised to spend half their time filming the crowd to see which fan has the filthiest habit.

As if all that excitement isn't enough, don't forget that Sky is relaunching Gladiators (Sky One, 6pm) with Ian Wright and Kirsty Gallacher replacing John Fashanu and Ulrika Jonsson.

The format's original presenters were always a cold pairing in my view. A bit like adding two ice cubes to a freezer and expecting it to warm up.

In retrospect, isn't it funny peculiar how Fash was always known as Fash The Bash and Ulrika will now always be known as The Bashed?

Talking of Ulrika, it's ten years ago today (May 10) since Dana International was being paraded before the world's media at the Council House in Birmingham on the morning after the night before when she'd won the 43rd Eurovision Song Contest at the NIA.

Programme co-host Ulrika was nowhere to be seen.

(Terry Wogan was also missing, too, but at least El Tel had spoken to the Mail in the run-up to the show in order to contribute to our bumper colour supplement).

Miss Johnson (there's no point using any other term when you've had soooo many chaps in your life) had declined. Something to do with it being cloudy on the day of our planned interview and not wanting to be photographed.

I didn't understand her reasoning at the time (relayed through a third-party producer), but maybe her life since goes someway to explaining everything.

Previously, I'd once interviewed her on the sofa at the old TV-am office in Birmingham when she was a weather girl.

Yes, she was gorgeously pretty in one sense. But, although it was summer, I nearly caught a chill.

Thank goodness for industrial-strength undies, eh!

BETCHA can't wait for the end of season edition of Match of the Day on Sunday, May 11.

Unless, of course, you're a Blues' fan and you don't want to watch your team being terminated from the Premiership by the mighty Blackburn Rovers.

What was it that David Sullivan and co said again about Robbie Savage moving to a 'smaller club'.

'Words' and 'eat' spring to mind there for Messrs Diamond Dave and David Gold.

As for Savage, he's already gone through the trap door with Derby in a bid to keep Blues up. What a selfless geezer.

I digress.

This is the edition of Match of the Day which will wrap-up the entire season.

Yet BBC1 won't start it till 10.20pm on Sunday and it will run on till 11.50pm.

Considering the Premier League is supposed to be the world's best, and we've all paid for the BBC to exist, this late-night start to the week is barmy - no wonder pubs will be full of punters watching the key matches live on Sky Sports.

The Beeb will be keeping back charity money next.

Ooops, somebody already seems to have thought of that one.

So here's a more original idea.

The next time the White City Scrooges stage the Goal of the Month competition (latest results for April due on Sunday) why don't they offer a prize according to the size of the winners' family?

The measly two tickets on offer last weekend would cause a riot in most households.

And I bet the stingy BBC doesn't even have to pay for them to be won.

JUST when jazz star Kyle Eastwood is about to roll up in Birmingham ready to play a gig at The Hare & Hounds in Kings Heath on Tuesday, May 13 his famous father is about to take centre stage on satellite TV.

As if it was meant to be the perfect promotion all along, Sky Movies Premiere will be screening Clint Eastwood's last two movies back to back this weekend.

Flags of Our Fathers (Saturday and Sunday, Sky Movies Premiere, 9.35pm) will be followed by Letters from Iwo Jima (11.50pm).

Kyle contributed to the soundtrack of the first film and wrote the score for the second (he's also scored Changeling which Clint will release in November with Angelina Jolie in the title role).

Both movies tell the story of the famous WWII battle from different perspectives, and it's the Japaenese angle taken by the amazing second film which is the more moving and accomplished film.

Flags won two Oscar nominations, for sound mixing and sound editing.

Letters won an Oscar for best sound editing as well as nominations for directing, picture and original screenplay.

Don't miss my interview with Kyle talking about Clint in today's Birmingham Mail.

* TICKETS for Kyle's gig at The Hare & Hounds are just £6... 1970s' prices!

Another week, another BBC3 comedy attempt.

This time it's Scallywagga', a sketch show format which is desperately trying to get down wiv da yoof!

It's no high-brow comedy effort, that's for sure, and some of it isn't funny in the slightest. However, there are one or two pieces which show there may be potential in Scallywagga.

All we have to do now is pray that if it does develop and doesn't become as unfunny as Little Miss Jocelyn...

(And no, we don't understand why they need an apostrophe either)

If Carlsberg made beer commercials, they'd probably be the Hoffmeister adverts rather than than the annoying dross they chuck out at the moment.

See, give me the bear over any blokes frozen to the spot after drinking cider any day.

Follow the bear!

It's not often you say 'thank the Lord for BBC3', but when they're showing Family Guy every single night then giggety, giggety gig-ge-ty I sure do love BBC3.

I was amazed to hear the other day that quite a few of my friends had never seen Family Guy.

I'm horrified - Jerry Springer's heavy has got his own show.

Yep, that's right. The big baldy bloke is now a chat show host, and not a very good one either. He obviously trained at the same shout at the guests school as Jeremy Kyle.

At this rate they'll be making Amanda Holden a talent show judge. Oh, hang on.

While the squares were watching Anthea Turner make Tracy Island out of bog roll tubes, the rest of us were busy delighting in the magical world of Knightmare.

Despite the show seemingly being nothing more than a lad wearing a bucket on his head walking row some computer-generated rooms, Knightmare became a cult classic.

For anyone who missed it here is Britain's Got Talent's latest moment of freak-show genius.

It's like watching a car accident. You don't want to look but you feel compelled to.