Results tagged “Macmillan Living with Cancer Course” from Birmingham Mail - I Will Survive

While my husband was walking with his friends in Wales I went down to my favourite destination The New Forest, to stay with my friend Debbie. The weather was glorious and what a time to be in the Forest,There were many newborn foals tottering on spindly, unsure legs, staying very close to Mom. While having a cream tea at a Mill, a mother donkey wandered by with her beautiful baby who seemed to be protected by other females, a little like the baby elephants in South Africa who are surrounded by their aunts to ensure they grow up to adulthood.

We found a little donkey lying down by the side of the road looking ill and tired and no amount of cajoling would make her get up and an older donkey kept nuzzling her. Debs and I were really worried and after 2 other people also showed their concern we decided we had no choice but to either bundle her in our car and take her to a vet's or ring for help. The gentlemen suggested giving her 15 minutes on her own and then come back. Imagine our surprise when we returned to find the donkey was gone. Then we saw her ambling up the road happily munching the hedgerow. They say donkeys are stubborn, she was obviously hot and tired and was just having a rest, determined not to be bothered by these do-good interfering females who come from the city and know absolutely nothing about the law of the forest!!

A glorious day on the beach at Hengesbury Head, a ride on the Noddy train and all too soon I am on my way back home to see my oncolgist. He had bought my appointment forward three weeks so I was worried - there must be something wrong. I had already got myself down for chemo even though John kept saying I looked too well - how does he know! Sadly, however hard I try to be positive there is always the fear that it could be bad news and on the day of the appointment I am always a nervous wreck. I start teaching my Living with Cancer Course next week for 6 weeks, I can't possibly be ill.

Once more I am waiting outside Professor Poole's office, how quickly it comes round, but he is smiling - a good sign. He called me early because of concerns by my doctor - all that worrying, if only I had known. He agreed with John's diagnosis that I looked well and he would give me another 3 months. I am elated, another reprieve from the dreaded chemo.

That weekend I spent the next couple of days preparing for my Macmillan course. John and I went out for dinner to celebrate my good news. Then I discovered it - a lump in my breast which felt just like a pea. I managed somehow to get through Monday and on Tuesday I started tutoring my course. Five of the ladies had breast cancer and each one described feeling a pea-sized lump.

At the end of the session I headed down the M6 for home and pulled into a layby to make an urgent call to my doctor's to say "I have a lump in my breast." If I could get there in 15 minutes they would see me. I couldn't spend anothere sleepless night worrying so I said "I'll be there." I had already lost my other bits to ovarian cancer, please don't let me have to lose a breast as well.

I firmly believe that someone is looking after me, because the doctor said that it was not a cancerous lump but a sebaceous cyst. Maybe I've spelt it wrong but who cares - I don't have breast cancer! What a rollercoaster few days, but do you know, that night I slept like a log!

Friday 9th is my first day at the University Hospitals of Coventry and Warwick to see my old oncolgist who left to go to Coventry and now I have followed him because I have great trust in him and that is so important to a cancer patient.

My friend Sandra had an appointment half an hour before mine and rang to say there was a serious 3 car/lorry pile up on the M6 and traffic was at a standstill. Not a good start, but we were able to find a route through Coventry and as we arrived at this splendid "state of the art" new hospital, the air ambulance was landing on the helicopter pad with injured victims from the crash. What a difference sitting in the light airy glass domed waiting area with gaily coloured chairs and Costa Coffee to the old City Hospital in Birmingham. Nevertheless it makes no difference to the nervousness I feel waiting to be called, but Professor Poole seemed relaxed about me and said that he would scan me in a further 3 months - yes, another reprieve!! provided the bone scan was fine and my CA125, which is a blood test for ovarian cancer, was ok. He said ovarian cancer rarely goes into the bones and he had only seen it once - " but you could always be the 2nd one!" he said - great!! I had my blood taken and drove home thrilled that we could make plans and I could ring anxious family and friends with good news, especially my sons Justin and Jonathan, who support me 100% with their care and love.

Then, when we walked through the door, the phone was ringing and my Doctor said my bone scan showed hot spots on the spine which could be tumours, arthritis or degeneration and an urgent x ray was required. Here we go again I thought, so what's my answer to this worry and uncertainty? .... I went to the Birmingham Rep to see "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe" where all my worries were forgotten for a few magical hours.

On the weekend, we had an 18th party to go to, which makes a change from all the 60th and 65th parties we seem to attend! Although of course it's my age group, I guess I still feel like that young girl inside. Sadly while on the dance floor, my bones did not obviously feel the same, so on Monday, I joined a Tai Chi class which I really enjoyed. I then went to the gym followed with swimming in the afternoon. I might just have overdone it with my enthusiasm because I seemed to ache even more the next day, but help was at hand in the shape of my aromatherapist Ann who comes to our house once a month. How welcome she was as she worked wonders with her oils.

I met my friend and old co- tutor Maureen in Birmingham the next day. She lives near Northampton and we worked together on the first "Living with Cancer" courses which we gave in Birmingham in 2007 for Macmillan. She has Non Hodgkins Lymphoma and like me, uses laughter, positive thinking and a joy of life to help her through. We are both working with different tutors this year, but both agree we would love to work together again one day. After much laughter we said our goodbyes and off I went yet again to hospital that evening to have my back X ray in Solihull. They work till 8pm now and I guess it is to help with the backlog, but I was so impressed to be seen within 3 days. When I was first diagnosed I would wait a minimum of 4 weeks for x-rays and scans and the stress was dreadful, so I have definitely seen a change for the better for cancer patients in these last 7 years. Long may it continue.

The next day I had bad news, my blood test revealed that my cancer level had jumped up considerably. Perhaps I am the 2nd person to have ovarian cancer in my bones as Professor Poole joked. It is like living on the edge all the time, so once again I must start chasing for the results of my X ray so that I know what I am dealing with.

In the meantime life goes on. John and I had an appointment at Bonhams Auctioneers in Knowle with some pieces from my Father's flat. As I laid everything out I thought perhaps we should really be at a car boot sale, but no, the valuer/auctioneer was genuinely interested. Some of the items were from the 18th and 19thC. The awful orange vase which I had always hated since childhood was a collector's item and the tired looking teddy bear with its humped back and button eyes could be a Steiff and they would send him down to London for valuation. I was fascinated and I shall look at the the old memorabilia stored in our loft with different eyes!

My week ended on a high note - Sunday lunch at the Howards Arms at Ilmington with my oldest friends who I grew up with and their partners. We have shared life's' "Ups and Downs" for 60 years and always will.

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Monday morning was sunny and bright and as I hopped on the train to Birmingham where I was going to be presented with a cheque from Marks & Spencer, I knew this was going to be a good day.

Thanks to the generosity of the staff and management, £2,000 has been raised for Ovacome, the ovarian cancer charity which does so much to help people like me. They are always there on the end of a 'phone if you need advice or have any worries and they send out a quarterly newsletter free. One of the aims of Ovacome is to try to get ovarian cancer a higher profile so that diagnosis can be made earlier and so that less women tragically lose their lives unecessarily. They are also on steering committes to ensure that women's views are taken into account and heard.

Breast Cancer has an amazing profile and so much research and progress is being made with great results and that is wonderful. Sadly Ovarian Cancer is definitely the poor relative so for M & S to give their support to Ovacome is marvellous.

One of their staff Mary Hughes, who is a lingerie advisor, was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in October 2006. Like so many of us her early diagnosis in April was IBS(irritable bowel syndrome), as the symptoms are very similar, but sadly 6 months on Mary was told she had ovarian cancer and that it had spread..

Thus started her journey with major surgery,numerous hospital visits, chemotherapy and scans. In 2008 she was told that the cancer has returned as so often happens with this type of disease and once again she is having to go through chemotherapy.

Having met Mary I can understand why all her colleagues at M & S have supported her and raised this money on her behalf. She is a complete inspiration to them all, she is positive and retains a great sense of humour despite her illness.So with all this and the great support from her friends at M & S and her family she has all the ingredients to beat
this cancer yet again and I wish her luck. The good news is that Mary and I are going to keep in touch.

Once again I digress. I gave a speech and the cheque was presented and it was so large (just like the ones on Children in Need) my immediate thought was "how am I going to get this on the train" and then "how am I going to send this in the post to Ovacome". Silly me, of course they send a real cheque to Ovacome this was just for publicity!

The Birmingham Mail photographer, Geoffrey was there and the article was going in the Mail one day this week although I haven't seen it yet, After a lovely buffet and enjoyble company I left to catch my train home - without that enormous cheque, happy that M & S will probably do something to help us in March 2009 which is ovarian cancer month - not a lot of people know this, Thank you so much M & S Birmingham for your generosity to Ovacome and to people like Mary and me.

Tuesday was the last day of the "Macmillan Living with Cancer Course".Where have those 6 weeks gone? I lit a candle at the beginning of the session and at the end we all held hands in friendship and blew it out. There were some tears at leaving as new friends had been made and we had all become very fond of each other and helped each other. The participants had gained so much in the way of knowledge, self help and had now been able to take back control of their lives .Consequently, for Mike, my co tutor and I it was a very rewarding moment and we suggested that the group continued to meet up and support each other and this is what they are going to do.

I had 2 great days but now I was worried. I was not looking forward to Friday when I was going to see the oncolgist for the result of my scan. Hence Wednesday and Thursday I spent the time enjoying the company of my husband and friends and a little "retail therapy" to try and forget this world of cancer for a short time.

All my weeks are busy but this one has been non stop, which probably is just as well as I didn't have much time to dwell on my scan at City Hospital last Tuesday which I have been worrying about as I have symptoms and pains that I can't explain. I have been having protractive dental work since March this year. My last chemo in 2006 caused shrinkage to the gums with the result that my bridge became loose. No one tells you this can happen,but sadly it is just another possible side effect of chemo which has turned out to be a very expensive one! I have a wonderful dentist called Nigel who I have been with for 30 years and trust implicitly He told me I could not drink red wine or eat curries as they would stain the temporary bridge which I have had for 6 months. I forgot one day and after eating curried parsnip soup I woke up the next morning and to my horror these bright yellow teeth were smiling back at me in the bathroom mirror! This week I finally have my permanent bridge and I can now eat curry and drink red wine to my heart's content! With shiny new teeth in place off I went for lunch at the Ginny Ring Craft Centre in Hanbury with my Yoga teacher Gill and my friend Kay.We have been friends since childhood and she lives in a beautiful cottage in the woods and as I drove through them the remaining leaves on the trees were a spectacular blood red and where they had fallen it was like a carpet of crimson. If only I had my camera. I am blessed with many friends, some I have made since I had cancer. My friend Wendy, is also my healer and John and I were invited to dinner last Saturday, Her husband Ray is one of the few surviving Spitfire Pilots of World War II and what tales he has to tell. My favourite evening is a candlelit dinner at home with good friends. Well we had the candles and they certainly did us proud with a wonderful meal and great company. Before I knew it Tuesday had arrived - the day of my scan, but I also had my "Living with Cancer course" to run and I always say that helping other people helps you to forget your own problems, so off I went to Sutton Coldfield where I am always inspired by the courage of these people and encouraged by how they have all gained so much from this course, hence a little scan was not going to stop me. All too soon I was heading for the Jewellery Quarter Birmingham to pick up my lovely husband John who had caught the train from Solihull so he could be with me. He has spent hour upon hour over the last 7 years waiting with me in hospitals for scans, results, chemo etc. and never once has he complained - well not very often!! Just having someone there with you is so comforting and I value his support so much - hope he reads this, 'cause I don't always tell him enough! I always say a little prayer as I go through the CT scanner in my hospital pyamas made to fit a 6ft hefty man not a 5ft 4ins small lady, but this is no time for vanity and the kindness of the staff makes such a difference to your experience . Finally 8 hours after leaving home that morning, tired and weary we arrive back at 7pm, but no rest for the wicked. I have a ladies' Rotary supper to attend in Balsall Common. It is so easy to think "I'm too tired,I can't be bothered." I never do that mainly because I don't like letting people down, but also I'm so grateful to still be alive that I embrace every opportunity to enjoy everything that comes my way. The spirit's always willing but sometime this poor body trails behind. As I drove home at midnight down the dark country lanes to Solihull listening to Radio 4 I thought "that was another lovely evening spent with friends" and the stresses of the day just melted away.

It's been nearly a week since my last entry and this is the first chance to catch up.
My weekend was a mixture of work and pleasure. I went to see my friend Leno in the coronary unit of Heartlands, he is thankfully on the mend, but I was so surprised to see him in a mixed ward, I thought they were being phased out.

My son Justin and his family came over on Sunday with their 2 little boys Ben and Nicky and little Lucinda. John and I have 5 grandsons between us but thanks to Justin and Louise I now have a beautiful baby grandaughter and our house was full of fun and laughter.

This was great for me as it took my mind off my impending visit to the Oncologist the next day for my 3 month check up.My cancer level had gone up so I was really worried and nervous and never really slept Sunday night.On Monday John and I sat waiting for 2 1/2hrs waiting to be seen and I always dread the words "you will have to have more chemo". I have a brilliant oncologist who gives me so much time but sadly she is leaving. She said I would have to have a scan so again I am playing the waiting game.By the time we eventually got home I was too shattered and hungry to go to Yoga and I normally wouldn't miss it for the world.

I had been preparing to give my "Living with Cancer Course" the next day and as I was being assessed it was so important I was completely on top of it. I always put a lot of work into it so that the people on the course can get the very best out of it and enjoy it. Hence instead of relaxing on Monday night I was studying till very late.

Next morning I set off to the Sutton Coldfield Cancer Centre only to find long delays and congestion on the M6 - why today of all days!! Luckily I finally made it in time thoroughly enjoyed giving the course with my co tutor Mike and I was so thrilled I passed and am now an accredited tutor for Macmillan.

I always say I am proud to have worked for two brilliant organisations, the BBC for 37 years and now Macmillan. Not bad having a new career at 65, I feel really lucky.