Results tagged “sex” from Birmingham Mail - Technobabble

Who says the internet is just for the inane, the bizarre and the downright smutty?

Me that's who - after reading this list of the most popular stories in Australia.

News website www.news.com.au lists them on the front page with a fuller list elsewhere.

It's a bit depressing for a journalist - few heavyweight articles about business or news investigations.

In the top ten: "Man smashes into shop for sex with dolls"; "Skier caught with his pants down"; "Teens suffocate in car after late-night love"; "Randy addict's need for speed and weed", and, er: "Vegemite under threat due to salt content." (well this is Australia we're talking about!).

Not only that, but the site is also split up into the story genres - so let's take a look at the more staid world of travel.

Oh dear: "Sex and the Chile"; and "Airline fires fat flight attendants".

Perhaps the serious business coverage: "Sex and Recession".

The problem is the best stories aren't the ones which are the most read - which encourages ludicrous 'search engine optimisation' techniques (cheats to get your story higher up google) such as inserting BRITNEY SPEARS into a story for spurious reasons (see what I did there?).

Some desperate types would even stick a needless picture in too!

The trouble is, with newspaper sales declining proper regional journalism is at risk.

People still come to local papers with tales of corruption, injustice and so on, but as that doesn't do so well online, will resource be given to that as budgets are squeezed?

I've often thought that the UK's low levels of corruption (trust me, it is low by comparison with other countries) and sense of justice is down to the free press, mainly newspapers.

I was on a course recently with a chap from Bulgaria who was telling me how there basically is no free press in that country. Run a negative story about the government, and you'll be put out of business.

Is it any coincidence that the country is also one of the most corrupt in Europe?

You may dislike it at times, but the local press does do a public service - so get clicking on those dull but worthy tales!

But perhaps we're kidding ourselves - and in spite of what we want, readers just want celebs, sex and the bizarre.

The saying goes: "you get the media you deserve." Do you really want to live in Bulgaria though?

So you're sitting in an advertising meeting. You're a highly paid executive who has been employed because you always come up with the right idea.

You've got a new product to sell. Yes it's a snazzy mobile phone holder which sticks to the windscreen of the car.

What do you do - yes! I've got it - a woman pointing to her husband as he cleans the window (or maybe it's an Albanian asylum seeker who has swooped at the traffic lights with a squeegie bottle and sponge.) Customer: "I'll take ten please!".

Next after the success of your previous campaign you've got a huge budget to spunk - what do you do? That's right hire a 'hip' celebrity. I know - a rapper - Usher!

What next? Ah, just get him to hold the bloody thing and make 'gangsta' hand signs. No wait! Let's go for broke and get him holding TWO phones! That'll slay 'em:

Laptops are cool - people use them for social networking. Our ones are so cool young people would stand NEXT to each other socially networking on them instead of talking. Cool.

Finally what sells? Sex sells that's what! Get a lovely in her pants, stick a phone in her hand. Tell her: "Look Sexy." Wait for the orders to flood in. If not, a job on the Daily Star awaits.