Single File

Blimey! I almost forgot my singles review for this week, which explains why I'm late. So late that next week's singles are almost upon us!! Anyway, here we go with this week's lot which will be reviewed against the following ratings:

***** Sir Alf Ramsey
**** Sir Bobby Robson
*** Sven Goran Eriksson
** Graham Taylor
* Steve McClaren

"Wanna Be Startin' Somethin' 2008" - Michael Jackson with Akon
Was going to review this a couple of weeks back but was unsure as Wacko Jacko's fans can be mental if you dare speak out of turn against him. But I really cannot hold my tongue anymore...
This is, in reality, a bad cover version with the original creator's blessing and small contribution. And it highlights the fact the "King of Pop" (Ha!) has fallen so far that he has to go running back 25 years to his golden period to help him get back into the public eye for the right reasons.
*

"S.O.S" - Jonas Brothers
Now the obvious pun here would be to say this song itself needs a great deal of help. So I won't say it. But I will say that I'd leave these brothers stranded on an island far far away, no matter how big the letters were in the sand.
This just sounds like Five (or was it 5ive?) making a comeback doing Busted songs - and no, that isn't a compliment if any of you Busted or Five fans are reading.
*

"I Am The Message" - Fightstar
Speaking of Busted, here's former member Charlie...er...something, with his "Oh I'm serious musician" band which caused the joyful break up of the inexplicibly popular joke punk trio.
Charlie gets a bonus point for causing that split, which is just as well as this is non-descript. Would never have got a record deal had he not been who he is and if this is the message, I suggest we shoot the messenger.
**

"Another Day" - Jamie Liddell.
My God, is this guy the biggest Stevie Wonder fan in the world...ever. Actually, is he a Stevie Wonder tribute act because that's what I'm hearing here. Still, better than the Jonas Brothers and their apparent Busted obsession, I suppose.
The song is good if you are happy enough but bad if you are not. I'm neither one or the other at the moment so I'll be kind.
***

"Ain't No Rest For The Wicked" - Cage The Elephant
Continuing the Stars In Their Eyes theme, here are Cage The Elephants and tonight they are going to be the Red Hot Chili Peppers...well, sort of.
It's catchy without desperately trying to be and it is rather funky. Although they lose marks for a sub-standard version of Talking Heads' "Psycho Killer", which is the B-side.
***

"F UR X" - Sway (Feat $tush)
Ha ha, this is well funny and pretty cool! Even if it owes an almighty debt to Dizzee Rascal's "I Luv U" (does everyone use "text speak" there days?).
But the yoof, particularly those into the 'grime' scene, will lap it up.
***

"Please Stop Dancing" - The Magnetic Fields
Brilliant. This is exactly what you'd get if you crossed the Jesus And Mary Chain with the Human League.
Got to love the fuzzy guitars on this song, which is taken from the aptly titled "Distortion" album.
****

"Officially Yours" - Craig David
"Bo Selecta! Can I get a rewind?! Craaaaaaaaaaaaig David!" Ah, Avid Merrion's merciless but genius mocking of the Southampton singer remains the best thing about the former ridiculously bearded one.
At least he is consistent. I've always thought he made bland, dull middle of the road records and this sits comfortably amongst his back catalogue.
*

"Let It Slip" - The School
A great toe-tapping, delightful follow up to their fabulous All I Wanna Do single, released earlier this year.
The Cardiff five piece (sometimes six!) sound a little like Belle and Sebastian - at least when Isobel Campbell took lead vocals - and they have produced my single of the week!
****