February 2008 Archives

Why do we never learn? Those of us who remember the eighties also remember the cringes looking back on those photos of orange tights and blue leg-warmers.
And yet our fashion pundits are telling us the eighties are back. Just don't take any photos - you will live to regret it.

I learned this week that another WAG is to attempt to break into the fashion business - this time Teressa Edwards, singer and wife to Premiership footballer Carlos Edwards.
Now I have to put my hands up and admit that I have heard of neither Carlos nor the strangely-spelled Teressa which prompted a discussion on what makes a WAG.
While there are a good many high profile WAGS - Victoria Beckham, Coleen McLoughlin and the unfortunate Cheryl Cole to mention but a few - there seem to be countless more that no-one has ever heard of. And in fact their only claim to fame is that they date or marry a footballer.
On that basis I am now claiming the title of Birmingham Mail WAG as I actually date a footballer.
The fact that he only plays five-a-side once a week is not enough to stop me. My next step is to launch my very own WAGBagLady accessories. Watch this space.

Finally the fashion industry's admitted what we could have told them ages ago. That it doesn't make clothes which fit real women.
Which is music to the ears of anyone who's convinced they've picked the right size only to struggle to fit into clothes when they try them on in the changing room. Well it will be if they do something about it.
I haven't got a cat in hell's chance of getting into a size 12 in Top Shop. But in Marks & Spencer it's a different matter.
Which stores do you think are the worst offenders?

Judging by this year's Bafta fashion the essential statement this season is bare the back.

A host of top stars including Beyoncé and Kate Hudson went for plunging backlines.

But does this look really work on Broad St?

THE media is into its pre-Oscar feeding frenzy, praising the successes and lashing out at the fashion disasters of the Baftas. Tilda Swinton, we are told, looked stunning in Dior while Marion Cotillard is a hit in Chanel.
What makes a fashion pundit a pundit? I watched the Baftas and thought said Marion's dress was just plain hideous while the pictures I have seen of Tilda are enough to convince me never to wear yellow.
And how come if you compare two newspapers one will say Myleene Klass looked great and another will trash her colour sense?
The truth is that fashion taste is just that - taste.
But we do love those right/wrong comparisons.

The BAFTAS. Talk about disappointing. And I don't just mean because Julie Christie missed out on the best actress award (although I was slightly taken aback by her racy leopard print trousers).
The clothes were about as exciting as Daniel Day-Lewis' when some poor Sky News reporter tried to eke more than three words out of him during an interview.
The clothes were far too tame for my liking. Where were the big style statements of the night i.e. Helena Bonham-Carter dressed like the Bride of Frankenstein?
Spotting fashion disasters is the only reason I watch these awards. It makes me feel much better about lying on the sofa in my tracky bottoms looking like a bag woman.
Even Sienna Miller was dressed demurely in black.
Only Tilda Swinton managed to make me do a double-take in a gold number with fluffy tassles which looked like something your average overpaid footballer might have as a sofa.
Come on girls. You'll never give the Oscars a run for their money at this rate.

Am I losing the plot? I couldn't believe my eyes when I nipped into House of Fraser and saw a book of knitting patterns for dogs!
Well, for owners who want to knit their own clothing range for their pampered pooches. It even included a pattern for canine leg warmers....
Clothes are so cheap these days I didn't think anyone bothered to knit. Let alone have time to rustle up a new wardrobe for their four-legged friends.

Mums and dads wanting to dress their babies in something cute and stylish should keep an eye out for celebrity mum Myleene Klass' new range of baby clothes.
It's set to launch in Mothercare at the end of August.
The press bumf says the Baby K range will offer clothes and "fabulous funky accessories" for babies and children up to the age of three.
There aren't any pictures yet. But judging by former Hear'Say singer Myleene's sense of style we're expecting it to be a hit.

Shamed Tory MP Derek Conway's flamboyant son surely proves money, even of the publicly-funded variety, can't buy you taste.

Did you see that photograph of high-living Henry Conway out on the town with actress Martine McCutcheon? The Tory's son was working a look which can only be described as Liberace's love-child (I know that may be hard to imagine).

I'm sorry, but a 25 year-old man shouldn't be seen dead in a white furs hrug clutching what looks like a manbag. Especially when you're described by one tabloid as a 'fashion writer'.

The over the top outfit isn't the best choice when your dad's been forced to apologise to Parliament after paying you thousands to work as a Commons researcher while you're away at university either. Note to Henry: youshould be going for a butter wouldn't melt in my mouth nun look.

This champagne Charlie's decadent dress couldn't be a more crass reminderof how tasteless the whole sorry saga is. And another slap in the face fortaxpayers wondering where their money's gone.