My son, the light of my (and everyone else's) life

I'M not a great believer in conspiracy theories but there's definitely something funny going on at my house.

Each night when I return home my 14-year-old son has switched on every light in the place - from his desk lamp to the bedrooms to the living room.

Planes landing at Brum use our place as a landing beacon as they begin their descent.

Meanwhile I'm beginning my descent into poverty as the constantly soaring gas and electric bills tumble in. My son insists he is not on commission from our energy supplier Npower which has just bumped up its prices.