The Chelt'nam Cold Gup...hiccup...burp

"IF the Queen were to win, would she present the Cup to herself?", said John Inverdale on the radio a minute ago.

He followed it with something even more irritating: "i know a lot of you are desperate to know what colour hat the Queen is wearing today, and I can tell you it is red".

Now I have nothing at all against the Queen. I'm British.

But horse racing is not sport.

40-something blokes, stuffing cash into their tweed pockets and drinking themselves into a stuper on cider.

So kindly get it off the radio and the TV.

Right... that's off my chest. Thank goodness for a football match this weekend!!

Villa were last out of the top four - where they have been since winning at Tottenham in September - in late December. And that was only for a couple of days.

Then came that late drama at Hull City and Villa have never looked back since.

There have been set-backs along the way. The late collapse at Stoke City was certainly the biggest. There have been poor, or at least average performances since, notably the first half against Manchester City.

An air of controversy has pinged the route with Martin O'Neill sending a second string out in Moscow after all the hullabaloo of the free flags and 38,000 at the home game.

Much is now being made of the fact that Arsenal may send them down to fifth by 5pm tomorrow.

And Martin O'Neill appears to be in the minority of being unconcerned.

He merely wants Villa to be within a point or two of Arsenal after the next three league games: Tottenham, Liverpool and Manchester United. And that will probably involve taking four points, certainly three and no fewer.

Whatever the rights and wrongs of Moscow the point is this: it was the manager's decision and therefore it was the right one. End of debate.

It has been a remarkable season in so many ways. Seven successive away wins - a club record; 13 league games unbeaten - the best since 1910 in the top flight, best points haul after 28 games since 1990, and of course keeping Arsenal at bay.

It's the closest anyone has come to breaking the stranglehold of the top four since Tottenham, a few years back, only for Martin Jol's side to falter at the final hurdle, albeit with allegations of food poisoning thrown in after the players had eaten at a London hotel before a defeat at West Ham.

It was with a little suprise then that I saw an article from Paul Merson on the Sky web-site today.

"Villa have done great, but this will be a nightmare season for them if they don't come in the top four," he says.

Now then, I like Paul. I think he is eminently watchable on Sky's rolling sports station on a Saturday afternoon, or a Tuesday night - particularly when commenting on Portsmouth or Arsenal.

He was just the same as a player. God knows I was lucky in my early years to have the likes of him, David James and Gareth Southgate fill up my notebook, or more likely dictaphone, in the days when Gareth Barry was too shy to utter much more than a few words. (Gareth was 17 at the time and I think I would have crumbled at the thought of talking about my aims and ambitions at such a tender age. All I wanted to know was who might be going down the 'Allerdale' on Friday night).

I happen to think that regardless of how the next ten games pans out, Villa will have taken a mighty stride forwards.

Of course finishing fifth will be a bitter pill to swallow. But how often in the last ten years have Villa qualified for the Uefa Cup? ?Or should that be the Europa League?

Not in the last decade as of right. Only through winning the InterTwobob - and then John Gregory tossed it all away against some Croatian pig farmers X1.

"They went out of the cups very tamely to concentrate on the league, so if they don't finish fourth then the season will be a disappointment," continued Merson.

Well, he's right there. The Everton performance was not good. Moscow at home certainly was. And the away leg has been pontificated on for an eternity already.

Merson continues: "Half of the Tottenham team would get in the Villa team and vice versa."

That's an interesting one. Name your combined eleven.

Let me see: Friedel, Luke Young, Bouma (when fit), Woodgate, Laursen (when fit), Lennon or Milner (toss a coin), Petrov or Palacios (toss a coin), Barry, Ashley Young, Keane, Defoe (when fit).

Well, that makes three Tottenham certainties and a couple of maybes.

There's little doubt that with Tottenham's preferred front two Villa would be miles clear of Arsenal right now.

Merson says that Villa "absolutely have to win" on Sunday or things can go "horribly wrong".

I disagree.

If they can't win then what Villa need, more than anything, is a performance to keep the crowd on their side after the late surrender to Stoke City.

One point will keep them ahead of Arsenal, that's all. And it is Villa's final five matches on paper where the points should start stacking up again.

Villa are more than capable of winning at Anfield. Just as they are capable of nicking something at Old Trafford - although I admit they simply cannot go there looking for their first win since 1983 and Peter Withe on the back of two defeats.

On another matter well done to Barry Bannan in clinching a move to Derby, albeit for a month.

So that is who Martin O'Neill was having a meeting with after last week's reserve game against Chelsea!!

There's me thinking Nigel Clough was after Marlon Harewood. Wishful thinking!!

And congratulations too to Stuart Taylor on his brief move to Cardiff. After such a long time in the shadows at Villa it will be a blessed relief for him to get some matches under his belt again.

Hopefully, later today we might get some news on Martin Laursen's knee.

Boy, haven't Villa missed him?