Ormondroyd or Crouch?

BOOKS, books and more books. All of a sudden I can't move for books.

I spotted Frank Skinner's latest on his year back on the comedy circuit.

I couldn't miss it in the supermarket. Not because of the cover but more for the big yellow sticker on the front that boasted it was now £10 and not the recommended price of £18.99. It's only been out a fortnight.

That was over a week ago. And I'm one page in. Still, I've never been a quick reader and it will be in my travel bag for Prague.

I've also been sent two books in the post. For free.

Believe me, one would have been an oddity. I've never courted books.

I remember my last read: "Enid Blyton: Don't Be Silly Mr Twiddle".

It was so long ago, I've just googled it out of curiosity.

"Twiddle is a kind old man who means to do his best, but he is often forgetful, a bit lazy and sometimes very silly. Poor Mrs Twiddle is driven to distraction by his muddles.

"This time he brings a sheep and a goat into the kitchen, cleans his teeth with glue and loses his railway tickets"....

"Age 6+"- explains it all.

Anyway, on the kitchen table infront of me is a book about a centre-forward whose name needs no introduction- suffice to say he was once shot in his office by a mystery gunman, and lay in a coma for several weeks.

The culprit was revealed to be Elton Blake, an actor.

Yes, he's back. (Roy Race not Blake).

"The Bumper Book of Roy of the Rovers" (Titan Books £12.99) collects together the first 20 years worth of classic material from Annuals between 1958-1971.

It even includes a cartoon of Jonny Dixon in his 1957 kit.

Unfortunately it is too bulky to take to the Czech Republic tomorrow, but one publication well worth inclusion in my travel pack is "Demolition Derbies and Other Delights"- the first literary offering from Stephen Whitehouse (Heroes publishing £5.99).

I've known Steve for some years, although never intimately. He isn't just a staunch supporter, he lives and breathes Villa. But he is also astute enough to not drop them into every conversation.

Many Villa suppporters will have seen him about. He sticks out like a sore thumb, to coin the old expression, or as the book itself describes his 6'6" appearance: "He reckons on being able to tell the age of fellow fans by whether they call him Ormondroyd or Crouch".

I do not believe that is because he has a penchant for pulling gorgeous women, although he may well have that trick up his rather long sleeve too.

His book, one that recounts the ups and downs of the 2007/08 season in all its glory, is one that promises to be extremely popular with Villa supporters.

And probably not those who support Birmingham City.

I'll leave you with the beginning of his entry under the headline 21st April:

"Alex McLeish overslept this morning so his wife had to wake him up. "Alex, Alex wake up it's 6...Alex", to which he replied: "Bloody hell, they haven't scored another one have they?".

Then they was the one about Agent Ridgewell acting for the defence.

People like Steve always amaze me. The level of their commitment to the club win, lose or draw. And you'll never hear him boasting about such devotion on the message boards.

Well worth the cost of two pints of lager around Villa Park- or 12 bottles of the same stuff in Prague.

PS. Steve lives and works in Coventry. And no, the book is not written in crayon.